I Will Not Die

As you might guess, I often check out the Internet and read sites that have mentioned my writing. I was excited to see a discussion forum mention my article Why Smart People Fail. Before I continue, I’d like to deeply thank the administrator of the below mentioned forum for bringing my article up for discussion. However, the discussion quickly turned humorous because I soon found myself reading the most difficult writing I have encountered in my entire life.

I’ll give the guy some credit: I noticed that it’s a Polish culture forum so the member’s English could be his second language. Even so though, what came out was one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while. Can anyone tell me what this means?

“I have but only of a little to add as a comment upon the authors theses of Smart/Intelligence.

As for one comment, I believe I understand the various points brought forward, but disagree with the constituents as a whole that comprise his points.

Smart is that of in-learnt behaviour. In other words, it is replacing a judgment reaction to that of a thought out analysis.

Whilst Intelligence, is a process of assimilation of known information, compiles this into a mental data base for analysis. With this analysis, forms a library of choice for possible actions. With this, is also the ability to as new information is gathered, to rationalize this as {go or no-go}. To then use these idea as a platform of tools for gain of that of means of gain to what ever is sought by the individual.

The word or concept of {failure} is not a working concept, for it is not logical. Failure, is simply the result of a process that did not produce to the expectation of the builder. Intelligence would then review the previous process for analysis of fault location detection. Take the now known fault, re-engineer for results, then place into action for expected results.

If the fault is once again experienced, then place the smart people in to the position of responsibility, for them to receive the blame. Then go on to build some thing else that will offer a better chance of success.”

Dereck :: Jun.18.2008 :: Humor :: No Comments »

Sally, a budding entrepreneur, is as tenacious when it comes to her school work as she is with her money management. In fact, if she can bribe her way out of a three-hour homework assignment for thirty bucks because she knows she can make fifty bucks in the same time from her Google ads on her Myspace page, then she doesn’t even hesitate and never looks back. It turns out that she isn’t alone either. Kids these days are learning about opportunity cost at very early ages. In fact, she says, playing with Barbies was always a challenge to her because she could never really understand what was in it for her. I mean seriously, what was her gain? Were those stupid dolls going to be an investment vehicle for her? No. In fact, it took her months to explain to her dad that her allowance was not keeping up with inflation. “Getting him to raise it by even just a few percentage points was a bitch,” she says. However, after many months they were able to draft a new agreement that would allow her discretionary income to “float” against a basket of goods much in the same way that the federal government tracks inflation for the U.S. economy. “Of course,” she admits, “I conceded the withdrawal of most of the energy products because quite frankly I don’t drive yet.” Her one-track attitude has definitely paid off so far. Most twelve year-olds don’t sport a bulging online savings account let alone hundreds of dollars swept up into index funds (held for her in her father’s brokerage account). While her friends are off playing band, she’s off haggling through negotiations on Internet marketplaces hoping to make a buck.

(A few hours after posting the pictured article above, I noticed the google ad that came up with it. Associating it with the article title above about made me fall out of my chair, so I couldn’t resist sharing)

Dereck :: Jun.07.2008 :: Humor :: No Comments »

Most of you have probably understood for some time now that I am generally a “health oriented” individual. Part of being that involves me eating fruit regularly. I often eat oranges in my cubicle. When I do, the most often thing I hear people chime in is, “Are you cleaning something?” In fact, I hear that exact same question from different people, so I’m certain that it’s not some fluke. Also, entire rumors have spread around that simple supposition even before I have a chance to answer. In a matter of seconds, I have even heard the question transformed into a statement of fact: “Yeah, Dereck is cleaning.” This is clearly a fact because the orange smell must be generated by the most probable orange smelling thing: cleaner. Duh. Also, after eating an orange, I sometimes get complimented on how “clean” my area smells. I’m glad fruit is something of such elite quality that we’re more than happy to clean everything with the stuff but gracious, I hope that fruit being associated with chemicals doesn’t eventually turn us off to eating it.

Dereck :: Jun.06.2008 :: Humor :: 1 Comment »