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Why people don’t like smart people
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The two articles Why smart people fail and Why smart people are unhappy have been this blog’s greatest triumphs. As of this writing, over 10,000 39,000 71,000 people have viewed them, which is substantial considering that this blog is just a few months old. Even now they still crop up in forums, get hashed around Facebook, and get brought up in Livejournal friends lists.
At the same time, they seem to be the most controversial things I’ve said. Between the ire raised in the comments here, and the even greater ire in the comments on social bookmarking sites like Reddit, one thing is clear: the articles didn’t resonate equally with everyone. However, they were never meant to be controversial. Granted, the vast majority of the people who read them took them positively (even if they didn’t comment, I got lots of upvotes), but even still, there were many people who took them to be indicative of me poking a finger in an eye, or they took them as me trying to be divisive, pitting self-identified “smart people” against the rest of the world.
But none of that is really true. I wrote those articles (and this article) as a way for people who identify themselves as smart to define and understand the world they live in. I wrote it from their perspective (and mine). I intended them to serve as illustrations of what a lot of people might be thinking about when they ask questions about the world they live in, for which answers are not always readily available.
But I wasn’t done yet. 
I think a lot of smart people, even after we take into account all their unique and useful talents, still sometimes have an uphill battle to face. I say this because it’s something I’ve experienced. On the one hand, we can all imagine that smart people have an advantage, they’re smart, but on the other hand, a lot of people really don’t seem to like them. They get rebuffed, overlooked, shunned, ignored, and sometimes outright laughed at. Considering that some of the world’s greatest achievements have come to be through the work of smart people, why is it that people don’t like smart people?
They feel inferior
Typical people, upon the moment of discovery that they are dealing with a smart person, sometimes instantly feel a few inches shorter. They know that at least when it comes to problem solving, they do not stand a chance. I remember once at work, one of the girls was bragging on me about how I had figured something out. She was telling her direct report about how smart I was. Now mind you, I wasn’t the one bragging, she was. I remember how he kind of swaggered over and told me (loud enough for everyone to hear) about how, even though I might be “book smart” he was “street smart” so presumably, we were now equals. I never mentioned to him about how my years in Detroit probably made me a hell of a lot more “street smart” than his years in a cozy suburb of Indianapolis made him. The point is, he felt squashed. But even so, we’re not equals. We work in an office where our aim is to solve problems on our company’s behalf. Typical people, especially those in authority, suddenly become aware of their capacity to lose, badly. I don’t think they like this.
They are jealous
In the crudest version, they want what they cannot have. When it comes to a poor man who meets a wealthy man, at least the poor man can say to himself, “One day…” Not so with smarts. Granted, there are lots of things normal people can learn, lots of new skills they can pick up, but the ability to acquire raw computing power has limitations. When a typical person encounters a smart person, they are suddenly faced with something that will never be available to them. What’s sometimes strange about this is that they proceed to immediately dislike the smart person they just met, even though it’s something that they want. I guess it’s like the male/female drama thing. Like the girl until you find out she doesn’t like you, then you hate her.
They know smart people can see through them
This one will most likely get me flamed, but there’s some significant truth to it. Typical people can enjoy a normal day of navigating through their world and they know exactly how to act around other normal people. They’ve got all those little games down pat. Joke about the game, check. Talk about boobs, check. Discuss the recent hangover, check. But when they encounter a smart person, none of that actually works. It forces them to make an effort to enter new topics on new and unfamiliar ground. They might realize that all the things they’re used to talking about are artificial, and when they try to talk about topics with real substance, they might quickly realize that…they just don’t have anything to say.
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Dereck :: Jul.21.2008 :: Life, Perspectives :: 59 Comments »
59 Responses to “Why people don’t like smart people”
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Some other reasons;
They’re often condescending.
They can sometimes be pedantic.
They don’t realize that social skills are something that needs to be studied just like whatever they’re intelligent in.
There are a lot of reasons that involve things that an individual can do to improve themselves. Some people are haters. Some people are annoying and self-absorbed. The existence of the first doesn’t mean that the second don’t need to work on themselves.
It’s easy to defend average people by saying they have better social skills, but the article lists several ways ’stupid’ people can be boorish themselves, and we’re back to where we started.
I think smart people are disliked because their skills hold up an unflattering mirror to the average person — you could have been smart, only you didn’t put in the hard work and effort to get that way.
To #1:
I think you are missing the point a bit. People discussed are not necessarily people with high trained IQ’s, but people who are generally smart. To be smart you have to balance “computing power” mentioned in the column, and good social skills. For instance, you could never see through anyone if you are just packing a high IQ, you need good EQ as well.
I think jelousy is a big factor in hating smart people. Any less smart person can see that a person with a better intellect and better social skills has a better chance to succeed in more things than a less smart person. Nobody likes to be reminded of their limits nor to be reminded that their limits don’t apply to some people.
Success through using smarts, for instance businessmen, entrepreneurs, researchers and so on, is thus not a success worth looking up to in the eyes of a lot of people. But I can never get my head around why celebreties and professional athletes are idolized and looked up to, when it should be just as clear that these people also possess qualities that most of population don’t have. When is a trait idolized and when is it looked down on? Maybe the author of this blog has some good thoughts on this subject?
People are instinctively afraid of smarter people for the same reason that they will be fearful of, say, a powerful sorceror. Human intelligence is the most awesome power there is, and it’s easy to assume it’s a malevolent power working to deprive you of your wealth and freedoms. So the villagers grab flaming torches and pitchforks and run it out of town.
I have a very high IQ, but I would never admit that in public. To most people it sounds condescending, Sherm’s comment is a testimony to that. But it’s not like I had anything to do with it. It is how I was born. It would be like saying a model is conceited because she is beautiful.
I’ve learned to fit in by “dumbing down”. I don’t always speak up if I know someone is wrong and I’ll laugh along with jokes that make no sense to me. Sherm’s perception of being pedantic comes from not understanding that people with high intelligence see things differently than they do.
I haven’t read your articles about “Why smart people fail” and “Why smart people are unhappy” (which I am eager to do after this), but I think I know the answer to both questions already.
“Almost all men are intelligent. It is the method they lack.” –F.W. Nichol
Note that nowhere in Dereck’s post does he use the word “genius.” I don’t think he’s talking about eggheads who sit around debating Nietzsche vs Kierkegaard, but rather people who would rather discuss a presidential debate than a round of American Idol, or are anxious to talk about the book they just finished reading but can’t find anyone else at the office who has even read a book in the last 10 years.
Hey everyone, there’s a lot of great discussion here – and I have lots of things I’d like to respond to so far. I’m at work right now, so I can’t fully respond until this afternoon…
Looking forward to it though
3 Jojimbo- People with a high EQ don’t wind up being disliked by those around them. Case in point, Bill Clinton; brilliant Rhodes Scholar, unquestionably a genius, and, until he decided to become a crotchety old man, also an individual that was, by all reports, impossible to dislike in person. People with EQ know how to be smart without shoving it in other people’s faces and forcing them to confront their ignorance, something even smart people tend to dislike intensely.
5 William- You’re being awfully condescending (not to mention presumptuous) by assuming that I’m one of the “normal” people who gets threatened by superior intelligence. It’s good to hear that you don’t talk about your superior intelligence in public, because doing so is bragging, and it’s *rude.* And not the sort of thing that a person with high EQ does. Just as correcting every error that comes along *is* pedantic. It’s not anyone’s job to correct fully-grown adults on their mistakes unless the person doing the correcting is either A) their boss or B) concerned that the person in question is going to make a serious error down the road should they not be corrected now.
7 Paul- What do your value judgments about the sort of entertainment a person likes to consume have to do with the topic at hand, that is, why some smart people have trouble fitting in? It sounds like you’re disdaining people who don’t share your priorities. Which is fine, but you should really be honest about that, rather than trying to make them out to be lesser human beings as a result.
Some people are insecure, and will always react to anyone better at anything than they are with hostility, this is most certainly true. But for every person like that, there’s another that thinks that their intelligence gives them license to make value judgments about the lives of others and qualifies them to pontificate at length about questions that nobody asked. The great mass of people who live between these two extremes don’t care for either group too much.
Sherm, in response to your question I’ll paraphrase a quote from Rita Rudner: “People who listen to classical music tend not to spit.”
I’m not saying that everyone who watches American Idol is an idiot, but when I’m reading about social/political issues and worried about what my government is doing, it’s hard not to feel smart in comparison to those who sit around discussing only which Idol contestant’s hair looked good the night before. Just sayin’.
By no means am I even close to your 172 uber genius IQ, but I’m no slouch myself. It wasn’t my ’smartitude’ that put people off, however, it was actually my vocabulary.
Vocabulary and intelligence don’t have much to do with each other except that the smarter you are, the more likely you are to read and comprehend what you have read.
Yet when I was growing up, however, people equated ‘book learnin’ with ’smart’. And vocabulary, apparently, was a sign of said book learnin.
Per my don’t-mess-with-me aura, no one actually ever made fun of my vocabulary – nut they pointed it out….all….the…time.
Even now, someone posted this in response to a blog entry I wrote.
“This blog isn’t one that I follow all that closely, but I subscribed to it, mostly because of the way Hayden Tompkins, the author, uses language. So while I don’t follow this blog closely, there are some posts that just reach out and grab me.”
What was my point? Oh yes. Sometimes I do feel misunderstood.
If I were to read a super model’s blog about how unfair it was that ugly people didn’t like her. I would think that she was arrogant. Somehow “Why people don’t like beautiful people”sounds more offensive ( Especially when the tone of the article is begging for the title to be finished “…like me”).
I’m not mentioning this to condemn Mr. Tompkins in any way. In fact I wouldn’t mention it at all if it didn’t illustrate another important reason people don’t like smart people. That is: they must actively flaunt their gift in order for it to be seen. Unlike beauty or strength, it requires a demonstration.
Unfortunately, any active attempt to let someone know how smart you are will seem obnoxious. After all, those beautiful, strong and popular people don’t go around talking about their gifts.
It must be frustrating to choose between secret genius and ostracism.
Although surely with enough patience, you won’t have either of those problems. There are some kind people out there that rejoice in others abilities. Mr. Tompkins’ female co-worker that was bragging on him is an excellent example. These people are worthy of emulation.
Concerning Vocabulary:
Languages primary function is to communicate. If you believe your vocabulary is more precisely communicating your idea then it should be used. If your using it to demonstrate your intelligence, it hinders communication. Most people are smart enough to feel the difference, and they will probably respond accordingly.
Another problem:
Intelligence is poorly defined. Saying that someone is “intelligent” is like saying that someone is “athletic”. You really mean that they use their mind or their body well. The mind can be used for many things, and some people are brilliant, in one area, but rather bad at another, just as one can excel at football, but be a terrible gymnast.
Mr. Tompkins interprets intelligence to be raw calculation, I’m not sure that is entirely fair.
A man might have excellent short term or long term memory. He may be able to think quickly and make connections quickly. He may be able to search through a database of knowledge far larger than any of ours, but do it rather slowly. He may have the ability to abstract, or to mentally hold ideas in place while the thinker tackles another piece of the puzzle that is to be used later (an ability important to logicians). In fact the mind does so many things, saying that someone “thinks well” or “is smart” is a very nebulous idea.
Imagine then, when two men who think well in very different ways, each of them feeling very under-appreciated for their abilities, meet. They both think themselves more intelligent than the other because they are better at their own kind of thinking. If a girl turned to one of them, and said “Gee, that other guy is really smart”. It would sting pretty bad.
Summary:
When it comes right down to it we all feel under-appreciated, and most of us have skills no one knows or cares about. This is an excellent place to vent about it and I enjoyed reading the article. I guess the best thing we can do is appreciate others and hope it catches on.
Caleb Creed
Oops. Ok, pretend all those “Mr. Thompkins” are “Dereks”
Excellent article. This is what Nietzsche talked about in his works: stupid people resent smart people, because they feel inferior and suffer from low self-esteem complex, so they invent morality: “Hey, guess what, we’re all equal.”
Obviously we’re not!
@ Sherm (your first comment) – I think you’ve got some great points here. Condescending, pedantic, social-skill-lacking “smart people” can be (I’d imagine) just as intolerable as beer-guzzling, poker playing “common people.” At the same time though, this might be a different setup: Why people don’t like condescending or pedantic people. Either way, it poses a good question, which might be, to what degree do “average people” consider “smart people” condescending or pedantic? If average people generally think that “all” smart people are, then it’s about the same as “smart people” thinking all “average people” are stupid because they melt their brains with TV radiation.
Oh wait, they do.
(just kidding)
@Weakly – I think you’ve got a great point here. I think the [supposed] lack of social skills is one of the most common things “average people” have in mind when they view “smart people” unfavorably. And, just like you said, smart people have good reason to view average people unfavorably too. Which, again just like you said, means (in a sense) we’re back to square one. Now it’s not just a question of why average people don’t like smart people, but instead, why the different groups have good reason to view each other so damned differently.
But, my question is, isn’t smartness a universally good thing? At least when compared to the base motives “smart people” think average people are after?
As to your second point, about how a smart person’s skills represent a mirror which trump up what an average person missed out on, I’m undecided. I think I’d prefer to leave say, education, separate; at least in the way you’ve presented it. I don’t believe average people and smart people have an equal opportunity here, and so, if the smart person’s skills do represent a mirror, it might be a different one.
10 Paul- The fact that they enjoy American Idol doesn’t make them stupid, or even ignorant. It just means they have lousy taste in entertainment. You have no proof that it *does* say anything about their intelligence beyond your own prejudice. Demonstrate some statistical proof that links viewing popular entertainment with lower intelligence. Otherwise, you’re just trying to use anecdote and innuendo to provide cover for your own disdain for what you see as being common.
16 Dereck- Thanks for the response, and for the thought-provoking article. I don’t agree, however, that smartness is always a good thing, even comparatively. The dude who watches American Idol doesn’t pass the laws that allow the police to break down my door and shoot me dead. Nor do they start wars overseas that burn money and national dignity for no good cause. It takes smart people to do that. If intelligence is tempered by humility and social conscience, it’s one of the greatest forces for good in the world. Without that, though, you wind up with atrocities.
@Jojimbo – I’m tending to agree with you here. If, when referring to “smart people,” we mean the very, very highest, say physicist-capable subset, then we’re referring to such a small population that the article would become meaningless. I definitely had in mind run of the mill “smart people.” And I agree that the need to have a high social skill understanding is required to “see through” people. Otherwise, we’d never get their stupid jokes.
But really, yes, I mean “smart people” who “get it.”
As to the question you essentially pose (I’ll paraphrase): Why, if success can be idolized by looking up to either a scientist or looking up to a rock star, do we almost invariably idolize the rock star? (Great question by the way). I’m going to venture out here and answer in three words: fame, sex, money.
Some scientists (or researchers or entrepreneurs) might have one of these qualities (if they’re lucky). Pro-football players have them all. Success for a researcher might mean a major breakthrough that relieves the human estate. But does he have bling?
@ CerberaSpeedTwelve – That is awesome!
@ William – This is intriguing by itself. I do think smart people end up reacting to their environments. For starters, they learn to be gentlemen (and women). And, while trying to reconcile their activities alongside others’, they keep quite when they have to, and laugh loudly when they need to.
At the same time, Sherm has a point, at least when we think of a subset of smart people, pedantic smart people. But, just like you’ve pointed out about your own life, not all smart people are pedantic.
@ Paul – Thank you. Here, as on the other articles, I tried to always just say “smart people.” Hell, I don’t know how to define that. I can make some generalizations, we all can, and we’d all be pretty much right. But when we start getting really specific about it, we start talking about smart, smart people.
Not quite what I had in mind. I think it’s important, when trying to identify “smart people,” that we bring to mind the “better than average” people, who like you say, read a damned book now and then.
@All – Gosh it’s getting late, I’ll finish responding tomorrow.
Cheers
Caleb,
1. If you are in fact talking about me, than I wanted to let you know that I am a lady. ‘)
2. “Mr. Tompkins interprets intelligence to be raw calculation,” I personally determine intelligence in terms of lateral thinking skills. So, someone who hasn’t been exposed to the ‘finer’ polish of society, can still be a genius.
3. As someone who is a ‘lesser’ genius in my family, I don’t really think of myself as a genius. My father, who is deeply emotionally flawed, is – however – a genius with a capital “G”, as is my brother. The problem with thinking of yourself in terms of “I am awesome because I am smart” is that there will always be someone who is smarter.
Meh, I’m awesome ‘cuz I’m me, and there is plenty of awesomeness to go around!
“The fact that they enjoy American Idol doesn’t make them stupid, or even ignorant. It just means they have lousy taste in entertainment.”
Sherm, I’ll give you that one. But lousy taste in entertainment is nothing new. After all, The Dukes of Hazzard used to be the number one t.v. show in the country. What IS new (if you believe the studies) is that all that lousy entertainment is increasingly REPLACING reading, and a-literacy (a term from Mark Bauerlein’s book, THE DUMBEST GENERATION) is becoming not only the standard but a badge of honor. Unlike illiterates, a-literates CAN read but choose not to. And they’re proud of it.
And although I don’t have the studies in front of me to cite, there’s no arguing that less reading = less smarts. Survey your co-workers today. Ask them to name one author on the best-seller list. Ask them what the last book they read is.
I bet you’ll get a lot of blank stares.
@ Sherm (second comment) – I’m not so sure William was being condescending. At least I didn’t take him to be myself. In fact, I can’t see where you assume he assumed you were one of the “normal people” out there. As to whose job it is to correct people, I’m not sure I can agree with that either. You say it’s someone’s job to correct someone else if they are concerned that the incorrect person is going to make a serious error down the road. But really, what are we really talking about? We’re talking about pedanticalness, not heroin abuse. So I think your elaboration isn’t necessary. Ultimately, it’s as simple as “no one should be pedantic.” That’s just being polite.
As to what you say regarding Paul’s comment, I think his value judgments about the sort of entertainment average people like to consume have everything to do with the topic at hand. Obviously he’s using American Idol as an example. Could be anything really. The “value judgments” as you call them that he uses are just examples of a very correct generality we can make about the Average Joe. In other words, if you grouped up a mass of average people and a mass of smart people, you’re just going to find some gawking trends. On the first end, you’ll find non-educational television shows, and on the other, you’re just going to find books. Simple as that. Looking at it that way, hell, these aren’t judgments at all, they’re simple observations.
@ Hayden (your first comment) – It’s interesting that you brought up vocabulary. While vocabulary may not have much to do with intelligence (depending on how you define that, it has a lot to do with how we can measure it. That’s why it’s on almost every aptitude test. The need for vocabulary is simple: it’s one of the few external things someone can demonstrate to illustrate whatever intelligence they might have. In other words, some autistic child may be smart as hell, but if he can’t say it, can’t show it somehow, his intelligence is fully internalized. A tree falling in the woods when no one’s around.
@ Antiglobalist – I think Nietzsche might have been up to something much more secretly grander than trying to expose a clandestine papering-over of inferiority complexes of the people who, while suffering from low self-esteem, “invented” morality when he uses the word ressentiment. The first being that he sure as hell didn’t think the effort was to make everyone equal. But that’s just me.
@ Caleb Creed – If I came across a supermodel’s blog that talked about the unfairness of her being disliked (presumably because of her beauty), I’d think she was arrogant too. I’m assuming you’re making an analogy to my own blog. But do keep in mind this: I never said that people not liking smart people was unfair. What’s the difference? The difference is that the spirit of the article was to illuminate some of the things smart people encounter in the world. It was an attempt to label and define what some of us see so we can understand it, not to bitch about injustice. That said, if I came across the same supermodel’s blog and saw an article exploring the reasons she felt ugly people hated her, it might end up looking something like this article.
About me “flaunting” my supposed smartness by writing an article tailored to smart people, it’s hard to not take offense. Hell, I’m just writing what I know, what I’m inspired to write about. That’s about as much of a condemnation as someone can get, even though you insist you’re not condemning me. Is writing anything whose origins lie in knowledge (i.e., non-strength/non-beauty), flaunting?
Also keep in mind this: where do I, in this article, actively attempt to let someone know how smart I am? Sorry to be obnoxious, but damn.
I suffer no angst from having to make a decision between secret genius or ostracism. I have cool friends and a great wife. Lotsa nifty folks who read this blog too.
While that female coworker of mine was nice to brag about me, I hardly think we should emulate her. After all, I was content without her bragging. Her bragging was the cause for the direct report to come swaggering over. She forced the secret genius out from hiding and right into the hands of ostracism. Not me.
As to defining intelligence, sure I picked something arbitrary. But it works. If we try to hammer out all the specifics like the ones you suggest (like length of information retrieval) then damn, the article gets really hard to write. And besides, all that focus on semantics sound pedantic.
@ Sherm (@17) – I think Paul’s response to you here is decisive.
As to your not agreeing with my assertion that smartness is a universal good, I’d like to counter that. I think the rebuttal is simple. You essentially say that smartness is not a universal good because it can be involved in terrible things. But is Hitler’s smartness to blame for the atrocities he committed? Of course not, and you say as much when you suggest smartness tempered by humility and social conscience is one of the greatest forces for good in the world.
Following this “tainted virtue” model you have here means we have to throw out all virtues. We can’t say love is a universal good because some jackass who loves his daughter kidnaps her. But just because his love might be “involved” with his sweeping his child away, it doesn’t mean love, by itself, it suddenly a bad thing.
Smartness plain vanilla is a great thing, just like plain Jane love is. Love gone mad, or smartness that enables treachery are whole new baskets of goods.
Of course this can have something to do with the low Emotional Intelligence of the smart person, but the feelings of loathing can exist even if the smart person is very considerate and gentlemanly.
Example: Person #1 finds out that Person #2 was a star athlete in college and still has the potential of becoming a professional sports player: “That’s awesome, man! Go get that money! Can I have your autograph?”
Person #1 finds out that Person #3 went to a top university and therefore has high earning potential like the athlete: “Oooh, I HATE you! That’s not fair, I tried to get in to that college! Was your SAT score better than mine?” etc.
The athlete has an “honest” talent; the smart person is “cheating” in some way. Cerbera’s sorceror analogy is dead on. Gotta keep a lid on those magical powers…
Note that this can be existent among two smart people, too. For example, in college if I came across someone who obviously had a quicker verbal intelligence than me — glibly running conversational rings around me, making witty insights and clever leaps in logic. You can bet sometimes I would get ticked off.
But then again, what a great thing it is to be able to have conversation with another smart person. Like suddenly being able to paint with color instead of monochome.
There’s a final piece to this puzzle. People who aren’t smart (often people who chose not to put in the time and mental calisthenics that make smart people “actually smart”) still exist in the same world as us. Moreover, they reduce the baffling complexity of their reality down to simple notions of competition over resources.
With that in mind, it’s pretty clear that “smart people” should be A. working WITH “non-smarts” whom are willing to acknowledge that you should leave the architect-ing to the architects, the baking to the bakers and the thinking to the thinkers, and B. working AGAINST other non-smarts who see you as a threat to their resources. After all, if they think you are more well equipped than them, they are going to think that you are better suited to get resources than them. As such, they see you as a threat. That’s something to never forget: they will try and fool you into thinking that smartness is socially inappropriate.
Don’t be afraid, just “do your own thing” and do it all over their terms. There’s nothing they can do to stop you, and nothing holding you back but yourself. If you play it cool and hard, you’ll find other smart people you can leverage to turn the balance against norms in your daily life to the benefit of everyone.
@ Derek
I think if you reread my post carefully you’ll see that absolutely none of it past the first paragraph was an attack. The article was “Why People Don’t Like Smart People”. I was trying to list another reason. It seemed strange to me that reasons like jealousy, and feelings of inferiority don’t apply in cases of beauty or strength, and I was wondering why that was. I thought perhaps it was because a smart person has to talk about their intelligence for it to be seen.
I understand how the first paragraph is offensive, but (I swear) I was trying to make a point about why beauty and strength aren’t disliked as much even though by all rights they should be coveted by inferiors just as much. It was very offensive in tone though and I can see that when I re-read it.
After the first paragraph, I forgot about you altogether and went on to elucidate on my point about smart people not being liked because they have to demonstrate their point. In fact in the second paragraph, I say as much. I guess when you read some of the inflammatory stuff in the first paragraph, you figured I was attacking you and read the rest of the post as such, and I honestly wasn’t.
Concerning the flaunting stuff: I was speaking about all people who have intelligence and I was speaking from personal experience, it truly is a problem for me. I wasn’t being sarcastic. I suffer angst over it, and I assumed most humans do. I also live a happy life.
I’m not recreating my original intent to make myself sound better, I’m not accusing you of oversensitivity. I’m just letting you know that their was absolutely no ill-intent, and the stuff that (admittedly) sounds like it, was my attempt to sound objective. I apologize for offending you.
I think it is not accurate that beauty wouldn’t be disliked in the real world. Models and actors are accepted, because it’s easy to explain to oneself that they were in full make-up, they don’t really look that way, they are not that strong really… I was not a bad looking chick a couple of years ago. :p (I have a 30’s crisis.) Add to that, I am quite smart. The combination is enough to put a lot of people off, especially men who are dumber and not as attractive. Other women would try their everything to play me out, but funnily enough, most often I didn’t even notice their attempts before my friend pointed it out to me. (I didn’t play the same game.) I wrote an anonymous blog once, and blatantly announced that I was pretty, popular and smart. You bet the reaction wasn’t positive on any account. Most of the outcries would try to attack my beauty. They would say the silliest things to assure me that I wasn’t as pretty as I thought I was. Beauty is the same thing as smart. You can go to a limit to make yourself appear beautiful or smart, but you can never actually get the real thing no matter what you do. it is equally socially unaccepted to declare oneself to be beautiful as it is to say you’re smart. And here I am doing both. Oops.
Sherm:
I’m glad you brought up how/why highly intelligent people come to be disliked (snide, pedantic, etc.) In the same way that oafs use social wizardry to compensate for rather paltry cognitive ability, geniuses can use swift observations to point out others’ short comings to put down the common folk and feel that they are more powerful. Well, to a certain extent this is true. A lot of people who are harshly critical are just socially awkward and try to cast themselves as the smartest person in the room. Being “above” everyone is an excellent excuse for being shunned.
That said, I think Dereck is very much on to something here. Highly intelligent people do get shunned. I’ve noticed this recently because I’m interviewing for jobs. I ask questions for which top managers don’t have answers; I make observations about the direction of the economy that seem to be over their head. I can tell, in certain interviews, that they feel threatened. I don’t get analyst/journalist jobs where I’m most expansive with my responses during the interviews. I’ve also interviewed for jobs in which I’m a bit under qualified/experienced, and so that is partially to blame as well. (I’m not sitting here thinking, “No one can handle a brain this biiiigggg! Oh, the burden of genius!”)
This does, though, answer the question posed either in the comment section of either this or the other blog post “Why Smart People Fail”: “If you’re smart, why aren’t you rich?” The answer is cognitive ability cannot replace relevant experience in a field. Moving up in a company, especially if it’s a corporation, requires a certain amount of pandering.
For all the jibber jabber about valuing innovation, the simple fact is that most corporations want Jane Cubicle to come in, punch the clock, and not cause any commotion with any crazy newfangled ideas. Life then becomes an unhappy cycle of trying to rise up in the ranks, but not rock the boat too much. You have to do well at your job, but certainly can’t show up any managers or any higher ups.
It’s an immense struggle to censor one’s self on a daily basis. It’s hard to come to understand that other people just don’t see what you see. They look at the same thing, but the perception is somewhat dulled. It’s like walking around in a world full of color blind people, while you see color just fine. Sometimes it’s almost like being on an acid trip, you are so sensitized to the world. So when you refer to that beautiful shade of blue, or that bright vibrant orange, they think you’re just pulling something out of your ear, seeking attention, being random, being weird just for kicks. They don’t understand and you want to show them, but you can’t make them see. They become resentful that you have something they don’t, not knowing you would share it if you could.
That’s just what you deal with in adult life. Childhood is a whole ‘nother slew of issues…
@ TheDisgruntled1 – You’ve got a remarkable comment here, really.
Though everything you said was particularly insightful, I’d like to comment specifically on a few.
This is about the most honest, most balanced way the opposition between the two groups can be discussed. It’s absolutely true, and it identifies, with a particularly potent kind of clarity, the very valid perspectives people from “either camp” are fully justified in having. Nice work.
I empathize with you regarding your experiences during job interviews.
Your saying that moving up in a corporation “requires a certain amount of pandering” is as true as saying being a successful academic requires a certain amount of study. It shines a bright light onto the plain fact that you’ve got to see the rules in the game you’re playing, regardless of which game that is, a notion I’ve generally tried to reinforce within these articles.
Finally, I especially enjoyed your analogy of colorblindness. I think it’s a terrific one with enough variety in its implications so as to make it almost as realistic as the real world that it represents, a feat so many analogies fail to do adequately.
Before I get started I’d like to apologize for the parentheses (I’ve always used them in non-academic writing–usually as side comments that I would be saying to myself but feel the need to explain to others).
Anyways, just wanted to say that I love you. Have read all 3 of the “smart” series and cannot agree more with your assessment(s). It’s really spot on. At the risk of casting [my] life as an ever-looping depressive state, there always seem to be trouble in making friends and relating to the “common” people–I am currently a senior at a 4-year college and still can’t believe how many stupid people are “succeeding” in this world. Just beer and boobs doesn’t really interest me; I don’t really have much fun at parties (loud music, mundane conversation, beer again . . . it’s boring). I prefer going to class (humanities and social sciences are a personal favorite) and staying at home–TV shows that require mentioning are House, Boston Legal, and The Office; I do the video game thing too (at least since college; not much beforehand).
I am wary that I will go through life feeling empty and unfulfilled. I am bored most of the time. I can not fathom how other people don’t understand so many issues that are really quite simple to me. I can’t relate to these people. I have such larger goals in mind than just the mindless dribble people seem to concern themselves with.
By the way, big LOL @ the ‘you may be good at thinking but it’s worthless’ point. God damn do I spend so many hours of the day just pondering and no one but me will (you alluded to your understanding of this, but for simplicities sake I’ll assume my mind is 100% unique and unable to be understood) ever know some of the amazing things I wonder about during the day (ranging anywhere from practical problem-solving of the world’s problems to, going back to enjoyment of humanities, thoughts on philosophies and insights on literature and all of that good stuff).
Really fantastic.
@ Anon – No worry, I love parentheses.
As to your assessment of my assessment, I’m glad you enjoyed them. I hope they are helpful while you orient yourself in your life.
Better to wary of it now, early on, then to suddenly discover it years later. Found soon enough, it’s a tool, not a hindrance. Remember that.
Now you’ve got to do something about it. Find a passion worthy of your full intellect and be picky when you look for friends. If you can’t find any, no sense in being completely alone, come back here and say hi or drop me an e-mail.
Now go kick some ass.
Sorry, the statement that smart people are unhappy is factually inaccurate as well as pretty offensive. It isn’t that you divided people into two groups: smart and dumb. That is legitimate. Intelligence seems to follow a population bell curve. Some people, by training or talent, are smarter and more capable than others.
The issues is your definitive statement: smart people are unhappy. The inverse of which is happy people aren’t smart. I’m a happy person. I am happy because I have actively sought to live a life that makes me happy. Because I have made that positive commitment to making myself happy, you call me stupid. My gut reaction is: “FUCK YOU!”
If you are unhappy, it’s your own damn fault. It isn’t because the people around you are so stupid and you are so smart. It isn’t because you are some special little flower that the world is trying to trample. It is because you lack the self-discipline, the smarts, to keep yourself happy.
I disagree entirely.
There is no genetic barrier, unless your brain is actually broken. I don’t care how adamantly you believe in the legitimacy of an IQ, the fact is if you take the test knowing nothing, you will score nothing. “Intelligence” as measured by IQ is by definition, knowledge and method. Things which you learned consciously. (Memory is method, and was learned consciously at a young age, mnemonics , try em’) What you’re born with means very little, it’s how you think.
Dumb people hate smart people because smart people hate dumb people, and dumb people know it.
For a quick definition, smart people are questioning their thoughts, and beliefs, and learning from experience. They’re getting smarter. Dumb people aren’t. As soon as you become more intelligent than someone who’s dumb, they become increasingly annoying, because you’re moving further and further past them, and you hate them for it on some level.
Dumb people realize this, because they have their intuition, subtitles the left brain wouldn’t think about give off vibes. Everyone has two minds, and the conscious one doesn’t see the bigger picture as well as the subconscious one, difference by design, that’s what it’s for, no magic involved.
Intelligent people tend to not develop their intuition, that is to say, learn with their right brain. (Even if you do ‘play the guitar’, fat people walk to their car every morning, that’s exercise, and yet…) Although the dumb person doesn’t either, it’s still more natural to intuitively receive perceive interaction than to intuitively project. And thus is the source of your problem.
Intelligent people are inherently rational people, as to separate good ideas from garbage, and rational people tend to right off all this spiritual stuff as bullshit, because in its traditional sense , it is. It does have a point though, it’s metaphorical to simplify the explanation of what you’re trying to do, which is to develop your unconscious mind. Artwork seems like a waste of time rationally, so does music, meditation, anything right brained. (Western religion less so, that’s more of a long excuse for morality…)
Anyone intelligent, not necessarily smart, could tell you it’s important to keep learning. (ie: be smart) Without strong strong neurons your mind falls apart. Your brain is in a constant state of decay past age 25ish, because it stops developing. From here on out you’re going to lose brain cells, you’ve got plenty, so long as you keep strengthening their connections to each other. If you don’t, you get bigger and bigger gaps till either your brain falls apart (eg: Alzheimer’s) , or you die.
That being said, if you just want people to like you, just always talk about things you sincerely like about them, even if it is just pandering, they’re probably too stupid to care.
This is a great discussion and topic. Firstly, I’d like to commend 31 clone1701 on her/his particularly incisive assessment:
“Moreover, they reduce the baffling complexity of their reality down to simple notions of competition over resources.”
Well said!
@Anon:
You’re still an undergraduate student; those years have the potential to provide you with numerous opportunities to meet like-minded individuals. The key is to be discerning. My undergraduate academic career was of fairly recent vintage, and one avenue that worked well for my social life was to avoid most elements of homogenous culture. Discover where your more esoteric interests lie, and allow yourself to gravitate towards social outlets that facilitate those interests. This can be anything, ranging from student groups/clubs, to subcultures (if you’re within proximity of a metropolitan center).
You may find, like yourself, many of the folks you meet share a common inability to imbibe the beer and boobs college-culture in your collective midst.
I think it’s important to note there are really two kinds of notable intellects too… those with a depth of knowledge and intelligence and those with a breadth of knowledge and intelligence. They function completely differently, those with extreme depth tend to forgo social skills and many secondary skills because they’re so very focused on their primary interests. Those with a great breadth tend to be jack of all trades, and thus are at least adequately skilled socially and in a wide variety of other areas.
One type of intelligence leads to people feeling inferior almost immediately, the other tends to lead to jealousy over a long period of time.
If you’re intelligent the best thing to do is pretend your not as best you can. Don’t call people out on things unless it’s immediately critical, don’t exceed expectations by massive amounts, and don’t use your vocabulary unless you know the company you’re with well.
I would guess the majority of people couldn’t care how intelligent you are one way or the other, but the minority that has inferiority complexes, jealousy issues, or huge egos can make your life a living hell.
On that note, I like boobies.
Shadus´s last blog post..It’s funny…
@ Dobbs_Head – Keep in mind here, I never said that smart people are unhappy. I’m not insinuating a causal relationship. There’s an implication in the title. A lengthier title could be this: Why smart people who are unhappy, could be unhappy. So ask this: are some of the smart people who are unhappy, unhappy for some of the reasons I spelled out in the “Why Smart People are Unhappy” article? You bet.
@ Alexandrovich – As to this:
I disagree. I don’t hate “dumb” people as you call them. I love most of the people I’ve ever met in my life, brainy or not. Nevertheless, some of those less-brainy people have hated me. It couldn’t have been because I hated them. It was because of value or perceived value, every time. In work environments, they were scared because I could outperform them. In school, it was becuase their grades were often determined by the curve that I set.
“Dumb” people don’t hate smart people because smart people hate dumb people. Sometimes dumb people hate smart people because dumb people feel inferior.
@ Sonic – Well said.
@ Shadus – I think your further division is a very good one. Also, I fully condone this:
Part of it is just being polite, part of it is recognizing that not much good will ever come from a pissing contest. As far as exceeding expectations and using modestly advanced vocabulary, both of those have screwed me more than once. Like a finger on a hot stove, I learned fast but still got burned.
Lastly:
Well said. I really do think that most people won’t give a damn. But a slim minority will, and when they do, they really do. And they are all my supervisors right now.
@ Shadus (#41)
You said:
“[1] If you’re intelligent the best thing to do is pretend your not as best you can. [2] Don’t call people out on things unless it’s immediately critical, [3] don’t exceed expectations by massive amounts, and [4] don’t use your vocabulary unless you know the company you’re with well.”
Firstly, I’m going to assume you’re referring to social settings, not all aspects of life, in the above excerpt. Secondly, I’ll add that I find this passage extremely limiting. For obvious reasons, it’s important not to lord your intelligence over others; nonetheless, abiding by your short list of behavioral guidelines is a bit extreme. There’s no reason to recoil quite this far.
You need to look within yourself, and discover some of your underlying intentions in the social arena. If you are, in fact, looking for pissing contests, or flexing your intellectual prowess, or even just putting individuals with less knowledge in their “place,” then perhaps these guidelines are appropriate. But, they shouldn’t be social requisites.
[1] You needn’t pretend you’re unintelligent. Pretending to be something you’re not is equally, if not more, unsavory that intellectual pretentiousness. If you’re intelligent, be yourself – therein lies some of the characteristics that define you as an individual; just don’t lord it over people.
[2] This one is a bit contentious: We need to be careful not to upset people when correcting them; however, I also feel that intelligent & educated people represent a small fraction of the world’s people – whom require our guidance. In one way, we can perceive ourselves as shepherds of humanity (though, this should never be verbalized), and through various means we should be spreading our ideas to society (research, academia, teaching, creating art, literature, journalism, etc.). At the same time, nobody wants to be corrected, especially when your views are predicated upon rubbish.
This is something I’ve struggled with. Given the vast array of informational asymmetries amid the public, it’s so easy for popular/public opinion to be lead astray by poor and incorrect information. I sometimes do chime in to represent the side of data, facts, and theory, but it doesn’t always go well. Where do we draw the line?
This is something I’m hoping will generate more discussion. Thoughts?
[3] I cannot speak to this one, as I’ve never experienced any backlash for my accomplishments. *Fingers crossed that I never will.* Though, I am quite young…
[4] Again, its important to diagnose your intentions in the social arena. If the purpose for using certain words is to demonstrate your superiority over others – while being fully confident they, likely, wont have any ability to understand those words – you need to reevaluate your actions. The purpose for speech is to communicate with people; by utilizing a lexicon that is incomprehensible to your listeners, there fails to be any communication taking place. It’s important to tailor speech to your audience, the same way one tailors speech when talking with their children, or when presenting to their fellow academics.
That said, speaking well and using your broad vocabulary is still part of your character – don’t mask it. Most folks have encountered many words in their lifetime that they don’t use in daily speech, but know the meaning of. These are the ones you should be using; they will understand them, all the while helping you better articulate your thoughts. I do this, and people enjoy it. I’m often told I’m a great story telling!
And lastly, I, too, like beer and boobies. A significant fraction of this globe enjoys them both. The point I was attempting to make was that individuals with good taste, coupled with a moderate degree of perspicacity, tend not to spearhead their personality development upon these two, seemingly, arbitrary details.
these internet comment boards are alot like the monkey cages down at the zoo,and I hurriedly walk past them much the same way,holding my ears,not breathing in,and hoping I dont get any stray shit flung on me…
@ Sonic – I took Shadus to be implying those situations where no advantage can be usefully realized. Put me in a classroom setting and those rules are going to fly and I’m going to put a game face on. In other words, those times when “lording [our] intelligence over others” will become problematic. As far as you saying there’s no reason to recoil quite this far (in many other settings), I think you’re right on.
As far as being sheperds of humanity: humanity doesn’t like that sentiment, but damn, it’s true. You have a certain wisdom here.
This is a gem:
@ Barry – Says the guy who came here slinging shit.
So dismissive of my earlier comment Dereck… It’s clear that you do regard average people as inferior people. It’s in your tone even without your body language or inflection. Since you feel that they are inadequate or maybe just inferior to yourself, you treat them as such. Even if you don’t understand how you’re doing it.
If you do resolve why it is you think all people have the same value without being measurably equal (which is what you’re trying to do) you’ll find that you don’t think others inferior, they don’t hate you, but you’ll remain intelligent.
You’re not going to be able to revise your philosophical underpinnings with game theory, no matter how many articles your write.
@ Alexandrovich – How was I dismissive? I didn’t dismiss it, I replied to it.
Not so. What’s been clear to me is that they do.
How so? In what tone? I have an abundance of gratitude for people of all walks of life.
How? How do I treat them as such? Show me.
Who said I believe all people have the same value? That cannot be the case. When I spoke of value, I was not referring to all people. I was referring to people who perceived their own value as being lesser than mine. I was speaking about those and only those who felt their value diminished when compared to how they perceived mine.
Why would I ever revise my philosophical underpinings with game theory? Why game theory? What do you believe you know of my philosophical underpinings? Which articles are you referring to?
I love this article and the previous 2 articles Dereck wrote. They are simply great, despite some points where I do not agree in. Your witty replies to the comments kept me reading all the way to the end too.
For some that believes that smart people are condescending, I believe that you have greatly misunderstood the “smart” people.
Intelligence is simply a trait that we all are born with. It’s like saying “I have dimples”, “I can twist my tongue”, or “I have heavy bones”. The only difference is that, intelligence have or potentially have a big impact on our lives. While “smart” people could be saying(or even accidentally expresses), “I am smart”, average people perceives it as “I’m better than you”. This is absolutely not the case!(At least for MOST smart people)
Every smart people have the right to express what they are, and there’s nothing wrong about it. However, MOST smart people, including Dereck does not exercise this right! Why? It is because they understands this fact, that average people will feel sad if the fact that smart people are smart is expressed. Which links to the previous article, “Why smart people are unhappy”. This is because they are doing what the romes are doing! Hiding their potential, out of care and concern for the “average people”!
I believe it’s the average people who calls the smart people condescending that are really arrogant and proud! Why do you ostracize people when they are different? Why do you outcast the better people? Do smart people not have the right to be who they are? While you average people have the right of free speech, do smart people not have the right to express their thoughts?
Read the article again, and you might just find the answer to all my question.
- How was I dismissive? I didn’t dismiss it, I replied to it.
No. (irony?)
–It’s clear that you do regard average people as inferior people.
-Not so. What’s been clear to me is that they do.
Right… you feel, they feel inferior… just as you suspected they would, you think.
The original context though, this was just for segue to…
–It’s in your tone even without your body language or inflection.
-How so? In what tone? I have an abundance of gratitude for people of all walks of life.
How so? Tone. What tone? The general manner of expression. You may have an abundance of gratitude for all people, without respecting them, and you may have an abundance of respect for them, without acting like you have an abundance of respect for them.
-How? How do I treat them as such? Show me.
I am. I’ve only replied in a rational way, yet to this point I appear arrogant and condescending. Sublet if you tried to point to why, but obvious to feel. Add in body language and voice inflection, and your emotion will always resonate through you.
You’re concerned with how to believe you’re not ‘better’, strictly speaking, to people around you based on what you understand. You indicate that you’d like to believe you aren’t better, but do not. Evidence by the general theme of the articles you write, and your cited “need for stimulation” in this case through writing them. That’s the source of your negative projection. (Game theory is the epitome of over rationalization.)
What you’re lacking is the knowledge that you know nothing. Given your personal distortion of reality some useful senses may seem as foreign as describing sound to the deaf. Inclined to believe you’re making it up, till he hears it. To provoke my point though… All people are of the same value without being equally measurable. When a friend of yours dies will you miss him more because he was an excellent golfer, or will that be a factor?
Honestly, most of this conversation has gone to hash. Part and parcel to the problem of this debate is that the definition of smart is extremely loose and open to interpretation. Intelligence and ability are so widely varied and so dynamic that it is often very difficult to clearly label person A smarter than person B.
It’s fairly clear that you have placed yourself in the category of Smart, deservedly or undeservedly so is irrelevant. The first complaint that I have seen here is that unequivocally placing yourself in the smart group smacks of hubris. Outright hubris such as that will often generate ire, causing people to want to make your life difficult. Basically, you are unhappy because you are an asshole, not because you are smart.
You also directly posit that dumber people become jealous around smarter people. I have worked with many people of questionable intellectual capacity and I have rarely gotten on their bad side. Usually a few kind words and a hard working attitude causes other people to, believe it or not, actually like you. Nobody likes the jackass who goes out of his way to make himself look good, even your bosses. The guy who makes everybody look good, however, gets ahead. You claim that dumb people don’t like smart people. Does that mean that if dumb people like me that I’m dumb?
Your articles read rich in melodrama. It sounds as if you are trying to justify the ire heaped on you by claiming it is because of your superior intellectual capacity. Your generalizations fail my test of reality. Most of the time when people around me are confronted with raw skill and talent they admire it. They don’t become jealous or in any way negative. In my experience people become negative when confronted by assholes, not ’smart people’. If things are going poorly for you, look first within yourself before blaming others.
If it weren’t for da smart peeps, their wood bee know TV for the knot smart peeple to watch. Maybee thay wood hav to reed and lern instaid ov having brane ded garbage spoon fed into them by hollywould. They mite even hav to think onse in a wile.
As for social skills, smart people can learn them (up their EQ-a fake standard created so the not smart to brag about and flaunt…is that redundant) BUT the dummy downed people can’t learn to be smart, they just sit around oohing and aaahing about the latest celebrity marriage, divorce, adoption, scandal…
Now try to keep the flaming at a reasonable level OK? lol
BTW
I do have friends, I am not hated or despised, I even function well in social settings. My friends are not in fear of my intellectual skills. Where I excel at thinking, they excel at other things I do poorly. We understand, respect and accept each other as individuals with unique strengths and weaknesses.
I consult with my co-workers for tips on warming up the crowd for a presentation (EQ skill?) and they have me review their work. We each utilize the skill sets of each other. Our office is tight, efficient, and in our corporation WE as a group are often the leaders in change and improvements. Why? Because we see each others as equals with valuable contributions to make and rather than focus on the differences, celebrate each persons contribution to the whole.
We are all stars, some of us just shine brighter!
@ Samuel – I’m glad you’re willing to reinforce my own beliefs that smart people are not always condescending. I think many people who read these felt I was being condescending (simply by my use of the term “smart people” for instance). Of course I wasn’t.
I take it for granted that some people identify themselves as smart and some people do not and that some who are smart might feel a certain way about the world and I wrote these articles to foster an identity for those people. That’s all.
Thanks, Samuel.
@ Alexandrovich – If you’re religious and have detected by now that I am not, our antagonism now seems understandable. Other than that, your last comment wasn’t clear enough for me to understand fully.
However, as to this:
That would seem to be what Plato said of Socrates. The best part is that I don’t think Plato was being sincere, my friend. Besides that though, Plato had Socrates say that he knew at least one thing. Do you know what that was?
As to this:
I agree. Before you go on trying to continue to diagnose my psychology after reading just a few things I’ve written, why don’t go spend a few minutes on my autobiography. That should clear everything up about my views on death.
@ Dobbs)Head – Your comment was really engaging until you called me an asshole. Not the first time though. My bad. You’re right though, in many ways (not, I hope, on the asshole bit). There’s no treatise here, no fundamental and fully justifiable argument. I was just writing how I have felt in my reality, investigating the degree to which others have shared in that kind of reality. I’m glad your reality has been a different one. Mine will too someday, I have no doubt.
@ Anthony – Thanks man, hey do you have any burn cream?
I find that its generally best to “wow” my professors with my intelligence in papers and homework, but to not reveal my talents to people who I don’t know very well for the exact reasons put forward in tis article and here’s why:
College professors seem to love the idea that they might one day have an opportunity to teach a very smart person. If I can fulfill that role for them and in the process get them to like me enough to give me that bit of extra credit to raise my grade, or that chance to re-do a test when I skip classes to hang out with friends- and in the process give my teacher validation, then that’’s a definite win-win situation. Also flaunting your intelligence (or anything else for that matter) in front of strangers is a great way to make people jealous, feel bad about them selves, and generally grow to feel intimidated by you or even dislike you. Having a room full of minor acquaintances and total strangers hate your guts and think that your a genetically-lucky stuck-up snob that’s full of himself is no way to make friends- and you NEED friends in class(and everything else in life) if you want to be successful, at least in my experience.
There are cases though where it’s “ok” to be openly smart to though, like in a class full of other really smart people who are goal oriented and value academic achievement rather than fearing it (like if you’re in a room full of preps for example, whereas in a room full of “casual” types you might just make small talk and keep quiet.)
Well, at least that’s the formula for success I’ve been using so far in college: convince your professors that your brilliant and try not to let on to others unless you know they wont be intimidated or think you’re annoying, works for me.
@ chaoscontrot – In other words, what you’re saying here is that we need to know our audience, need to be very conscious about who we are dealing with, and that knowing these differences will present us the possibility of letting our skills work when they will work for us and shrouding us when they will do us no good. And that, I’d say is pretty wise.
Well, as a very, very intelligent and educated person I can say that many times I have felt the wrath of those who are of typical intelligence. Tobe honest, it’s not as if I “flaunt” my knowledge in front of others, it’s just something that is always there and apparently quite obvious to others. I am female and I also happen to be very physically attractive. This combination has caused me a lot of problems in my life. I can’t/won’t do the whole bimbo thing, and I don’t like meaningless (i.e. gossip) conversations and refuse to take part in them. Needless to say, a lot of women hate me. While guys do like me (at first) after they realize that I will probably not be impressed with their intellectual abilities, they become intimidated. I’m really getting tired of this. I’ve had bosses, who in spite of my being totally cooperative and supportive, find managing me “uncomfortable” as soon as they realize that I am very intelligent and that their mentoring, at least from the perspectives of them actually presenting information and concepts that I am unfamiliar with, or my admiring of any of their external characterisitcs probably won’t be happening, they become hostile. Being smart, attractive, and well brought up is supposed to be the ideal. Sadly, it causes a lot of problems.
none of you are smart
This article tells my story very well, so I’m happy to see that my take on things is not some bizarre interpretation of reality.
I once worked for a very large corporation, and no matter who ran the office, things remained the same. Upper management consistently ignored me, despite the fact that I could have made a bigger contribution. And had that happened, EVERYONE would have gained: upper management, myself, and most importantly, THE COMPANY.
Don’t think I didn’t try to change things. I literally threw myself at their feet, practically begging them for an opportunity to show what I could do. But alas, I got snubbed and ignored again. Well, guess what happened? I applied for a job as a college math professor, and against all odds, I got it!
Now two years later, I’m a happy camper. I was fortunate that I the college did recognize and embrace hiring educated and smart people, and we ALL gained from this. I know that the college is happy with my performance, and as I stated, I’m delighted too. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is where I really belong.
So goodbye and good luck to those pathetic, insecure bosses who want all of the glory for themselves, even if it’s means running a company into the ground in the process.
i really dont get along with alot of people because they feel inferor to me and then they ask me why do i look at every small detail so i feel outcasted but i move with my life