Good Reads/Dereck
Digg/dacoatne
Facebook/Dereck
YouTube/dacoatne
Del.icio.us/dacoatne
Technorati/dacoatne
MyBlogLog/dacoatne
Twitter/dacoatne
Why smart people fail
Email this article to a friend
Before I continue, I better make some qualifications about that statement. When I say “smart,” I’m not referring to some precise class of people, but rather, a more general group: creative people with generally higher raw computing power. You know, smart people. What I mean by “fail” might be a little more tricky to pin down. I say this because a lot of people (smart people) might object to my diagnosis of their failures. In other words, smart people are more likely to consider “failure” to be an arbitrary thing, one that changes significantly between the different people we might ask about it. I’ve got good news, it is an arbitrary thing, and that’s precisely part of the problem. But what I mean by failure is not what smart people would consider failure but instead what the world at large would call it. I mean the smart person who gets bad grades. Or who gets stuck in a job or career that does not utilize their creativity or computing power. Or who sets his finances on fire. In other words, the world at large says that success means you have a good career, lots of money and you drive a nice car. Plain and simple. And that world doesn’t care whether you want those things or not. In fact, plenty of smart people don’t care about them in the least.
But, the people who have these things enjoy greater leisure in life, invite new challenges and see more opportunities than people who do not. And then what happens is this: smart people (who don’t care about having a nice career, or who are in the wrong career) sit by and watch as the dumber person with the better job gets to go travel to Europe, can afford the new laptop, and later gets to start his own business with the capital he piled up from all those years of making more money than the smart person. In short, the very things that smart people sometimes do not care about in the least can lead to lots of things they do.
Here are some reasons why smart people fail:
Their goals are lot bigger
Smart people think big. They have a greater chance to the see the big picture and they often form their goals around what they see. Besides that though, smart people have greater potential to accomplish bigger things and to make bigger impacts and so their goals and dreams reflect this. Having larger goals means a harder and longer trip and with them, a greater chance of failure. Sometimes it’s not that they are unsuccessful at what they set out to achieve, it’s that they set out to achieve so much more.
What makes them smart makes them ineffective competitors
The corporate ladder? Social status? Designer clothing? Lots of smart people couldn’t care less. Some of them care more about world poverty, global warming and political strife between nations on the other side of the globe. A lot of the time, when smart people fail, it’s because they never tried to succeed, at least at the things that might get them ahead financially or that might give them access to networked friends in the working world.
They falsely mistake most people as being more like them than they are
I’ve met lots of smart people who accidentally assume that all the other people they encounter will fully understand them or share the same viewpoints, think the same kinds of things. But that’s not often the case. The perspectives of the more mainstream people around them often vary significantly from theirs. More mainstream people are thinking ahead about the party next Friday, the drama going on at their girlfriend’s apartment or the next time they plan on going to the mall. For some smart people, they couldn’t care less about these things. In the meantime, they go through life always at odds with their surroundings.
Thinking by itself is not a success
A lot of smart people place too much tangible net worth on their smartness. Thinking, for instance, by itself has no value at all for anyone outside of the person producing the thought. They might conjure up brilliant things all day long, and while someone like me would be the first person to respect it, if they spend too much time thinking just for the sake of their own thinking, they may never get ahead in the tangible world. In a “perfect” world, those who are most suited for thinking should be left alone to think. No one you will meet will sympathize with you about this as much as I do. However, in the end the thinking has to be turned into some kind of utility. You have to do something with that thinking.
They require different kinds of stimulation
So what do all the dumb people enjoy? (I can see the flames coming now). Beer, too much sex, status symbols. Life is a big game where they compete to be the biggest, badest ape. Smart people like to solve puzzles, to challenge their intellects and flex their grey matter. This puts them at a major disadvantage. Beer, sex and cars just isn’t that intellectually stimulating. It’s all stimulating, but smart people need much more. What this does is it causes them to burn out a lot more quickly. Getting up, driving to work while listening to stupid morning shows, and struttin’ around the office or other place of business just really doesn’t do it for most smart people. Why do you think video games are so popular among smart people? They’re all puzzles filled with new experiences. So how can people become more successful? Easy, but read this first:
I’m going to tell you about something I’ve seen my entire adult life. I never walk around bragging that I’m smart to other people. When I speak to people I am gracious, extremely perceptive and highly sensitive to their self-esteem. If I ever were to tell them I was extremely smart, they’d think I was being a jerk, even if what I said was perfectly true, perfectly rational. But something strange has happened everywhere I have ever gone in life. Intelligence always comes up to topic. They’re always the ones who are bringing it up. Almost every single person who has ever gotten to know me, ends up asking me some close variation of this question: “What are you doing here?”
What does that mean? It means that even I, a master mask wearer, cannot hide forever among more common people. I’m always found out. It also means that there is some significant truth regarding the assertion that smart people often struggle to “succeed” in the normal sense, because they’re players in a game they were never truly designed to play. They will often be out of place, and it’s no wonder that smart people fail. To succeed, you must recognize the pervasive truth in the phrase, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” In mainstream life, you have to (at least initially) do mainstream things in order to get ahead, to succeed. You have to play the game. But it’s much more optimistic than that: you’re smarter than they are. You can beat them. You just have to learn the rules and feel the ropes. After that, they don’t even stand a chance. Then, after you’ve done all that, once you’ve succeeded, at least in the arenas of security, personal finances and a few others, you can get back to your own thing.
If you enjoyed this, you can join the rss feed and be updated about new material. If you don't know what rss feeds are, this article explains them.
94 Responses to “Why smart people fail”
Leave a Reply
Way to crystallize what I’ve been feeling these past ten years, as I switch from job to job and wonder why I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass about living the consumer-ape dream, while still having to subconsciously struggle with the judgment of parents and peers who tsk-tsk behind my back, “If only he were living up to his potential.”
Good to have some other people in your camp, though, no matter how uninvolved in the general baboonery you might think yourself.
@Ernie,
Must be some other people in our camp too. Hard drives are melting. Are you part of the Reddit wave? If so, thanks for the support. Glad I hit my intended audience.
And, just like you said, it’s nice to have people in our camp.
Cheers friend,
Dereck
…why I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass about living the consumer-ape dream…
That’s a hilarious way of putting it!
I am loathe to call myself smart [or if I was, you'd think I'd be successful, right?] but it’s uncanny how I can identify with this piece.
I absolutely agree that success can only come from expressing that which lives within me, or else I have no hope of ever reaching my goal. And I’m happy to say that I’m finally getting there, I took too damn long as it is.
Make it happen!
A very succinct description of my work-a-day life. So many of my friends and coworkers are motivated by things that simply hold no appeal to me. What’s more, they seem to be absurdly irrational in the pursuit of these goals:
“Can’t hang out, have to see ‘Sex in the City’ or I won’t get laid tonight”
“Sure, my job is boring, but I get matching 401k!”
“What do you mean you don’t like beer? Who doesn’t like beer?”
Bleh. I’m going to have to pay more attention to my interaction with the populace on Monday and see how well I fail.
Sung to the theme of any Disney Movie:
There’s a place out there,
There’s a place for you,
With lots of winding stair,
And teams training crew.
If your smart and sad,
And your feeling blue,
Let me tell you lad,
There’s a place for you.
It’s graduate school,
Graduate school,
Don’t look like a fool,
Stop mopping up drool.
Wish I could be,
Out of the Cave,
In graduate school.
Maybe you’re not as smart as you think you are? Just kidding, I understand how you feel although I have not reached the work force yet. Who are we really to judge others for living lives that they could understandably enjoy though? Smart people fail because they do not understand that social lives are as necessary to others as work is to us.
@ Harry – I wrote this precisely for you…
@ Kevin – I’ll do the same on Monday. Let me know how it goes…
@ Aaron – Great, now it’s stuck in my head…
@ Martin – Maybe I’m not. But do keep this in mind: I’m not judging them, I’m really judging us…
OMG, I am so smart and it’s so hard for me. OMG, I’m so glad you wrote this because it, like, totally describes how difficult it is for me to talk to common people. Like, I’ll be talking to them and I can see from the looks on their faces that they’re just thinking, “OMG, this guy is so much smarter than us, maybe we should go hang out with someone who’s stupid like us”, and I’ll just be, like, “Hey, don’t punish me cos I’m brilliant.” And it’s tough, y’know, because I’m, like, an awesome actor and when I’m talking to them I’m in, like, full-blown moron mode. But I guess my intelligence is greater than my acting ability (which, let me tell you, is awesome), because they always end up with that look on their face.
You’re doing good work alerting people to how difficult it is to be brilliant on this blog, man. I totally hope you keep it up.
It is “could NOT care less”.
@ Nazi – You’re correct.
Your latter advice still assumes we give a damn.
…follow the white rabbit, Neo.
[...] here. You may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!The article I recently wrote, Why Smart People Fail, has received an enormous amount of traffic. It turns out that it meant a great deal to a great [...]
@ Thom – Quite so. That’s when even I go grab a beer.
It turns out these two questions actually are valid:
“If you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?”
“If you’re so rich, why aren’t you happy?”
John Maynard Keynes handled the first question with aplomb.
Howard Hughes failed sadly at the second.
@ Meng – Precisely my point.
Great stuff – am impressed (and slightly jealous) at your ability to present these ideas clearly. I am interested to see what kind of community develops here
[...] Thanks for visiting! (You will only see this message once)After I wrote the wildly popular post Why Smart People Fail, I received several interesting responses, some in the comments section and others privately [...]
I’m just as the person you’ve described. I am smart. I think differently from the common/mainstream person.
So as a result, right now I’m self employed. Running my own internet based business.
I have completed the first stage you described. I worked for 10 years in the IT industry watching this “unreal” office world around me.
While I watched I waited and cleverly kept my mouth shut (I said very, very little about my true feelings in those 10 office years).
In each moment dreamed of my escape to a better life and actively visualized it.
I saved cash like an immigrant
Yep, I made it and am happily self employed. I’m not rich though.
You see the challenge of harnessing your smartness and not letting it block your path is just as great when you are your own boss.
It really is.
**The biggest challenge is learning how to manage boredom and break out of the cycle of excitement/stimulation.** Excitement and stimulation are not how the big profits are produced. To make money you have to learn how to make $1 and then scale. Scaling involves? Repetition.
This post is getting long, but I’ll just summarise in a few points.
I am the “smart” person Derrek described (and smart doesn’t mean intelligent, it just means seeing through the illusion).
This is what I did:
1. Had confidence in myself.
2. Made a definite plan.
3. I learned about the power of visualisation (read Think and Grow rich etc
4. I understood that in this particular life, I want to control wealth/money etc. Turning my back on those things and leaving them in control of the usual ‘apes’ does a disserve – to myself (and maybe to humanity too – yes that’s a bit egotistical). This meant reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and similar and taking it seriously.
5. Picked a few business models. Tried, failed. Failed again. Persisted.
6. Got a business model that worked, suited my ethics etc. Scaled it somewhat.
7. Resigned.
8. Learned about the self employment which means a different kind of self discipline not always surrendering to excitement.
The most important thing I can recommend is visualization.
And consciously choosing to master money.
Which means being able to create and pay your own salary initially.
And later will mean mastering investments.
But you create through visual creation, goal setting, tracking and persistence.
The ultimate aim is to stop working and give your time over to world peace, teaching or whatever.
But master money beforehand.
Please don’t ignore it, smart person. The world may never see your vision otherwise.
The world may never see what you have to give if you miscalculate the importance of money and try to ignore it.
You should master it, *then* ignore it.
Before me beckons
an assignment.
Yes it is,
of my choosing.
In service my potential wakes,
Stirring here
and confiding.
Ai, for all my heart
with me in play,
Readiness is now yielding.
And work this work
my spirit shining,
Knowing to exemplify.
Make this day
to gather, superbly,
Consummating
resolution.
@the_grammer_nazi
Now that your “grammer” is nearly perfect, perhaps you could work on your spelling.
Grammer is a town in Indiana.
“The corporate ladder? Social status? Designer clothing? Lots of smart people couldn’t care less. Some of them care more about world poverty, global warming and political strife between nations on the other side of the globe.”
The smartest people realize the importance of all of these things
.
[...] two articles Why smart people fail and Why smart people are unhappy have been this blog’s greatest triumphs. As of this writing, [...]
Smart people fail today because stupid people suppress them through moronic power structures. If you’re not socially popular or care about money, you’re not in the game. We need to promote smart people to leadership again, or the idiots will dumb down everything.
There, I said it.
Is ‘getting back to your own thing’ possible once you’re in? (the question is not rhetorical).
Then, the isolation is part of feeling elitist, which – to some people at least – is a pleasure in itself and which they will not readily/ willingly give up. I am not generalizing, but the emotionally they may be happier basking in their aura of a chosen (and existentially alone) one.
@ Katya – That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Possible, sure. Likely, dunno. Just taking a look around, I’d say no, not likely.
About the isolation being a result of feeling elite, I’m not quite sure what you mean here. Are you saying that smart people who feel alone feel that way because they feel elite?
@ Realist – In some ways, smart people may be suppressed, but I’m not convinced that stupid people would do that consciously. And while that suppression might be through power structures, I’m not so sure I’d call them moronic, but rather, just a natural consequence of our society.
At first, I was somewhat skeptical of the article, especially the apologist kind of nature and the suggestion that someone else’s self esteem is something you need to worry about.
However, there is much truth in the conclusion. I’ve been doing the real world thing for about 4 years now, and I’m already almost back to “doing my own thing”. There is nothing stopping you from playing “the game” with obvious contempt — “norms” will refuse to differentiate because they demand that everyone actually is the same. There’s nothing better than playing the game with one side of your mouth, while talking total shit to them out of the other. You can start out almost day one pwning it if you’re willing to.
Looking forward to the rest of this series, it’s a good (if somewhat cowardly) perspective. Be proud of being smart. If it wasn’t so special, other people wouldn’t always “find you out”.
I don’t think I’m the brightest lamp in the Christmas tree, but not the dullest one either… I can remember as a kid, I was listening to my friends, a bunch of 8-year olds, thinking, “how can they be so interested in such inane things? How can they be so childish?” I was never on the top of my class, even though I probably was smarter than most of my class mates. I just simply couldn’t care less. I have always felt quite satisfied within my own head, although a trip outside it is always refreshing. It is certainly hard to motivate me with money or even the things that I can get with it… I am still stuck trying to decide whether my big goals are actually worth the trouble.
Truely awesome post; I’ve always been a really ambitious person. Sometimes I can be too trusting, and that has definently led me to failure in several ocassions.
I met a good older friend online about a year ago. I had a great idea for a website on music… I told him about it. Next thing I know he gets a partner who knows how to make websites, and they steal my ENTIRE idea down to the detail.
I don’t want to mention the site because I don’t know the legalities of it. But now its been up and running successful with thousands of people. I even recently saw an advertisement of theirs on a magazine.
It truely is disappointing knowing I could have been in their shoes. If my damn naive teenage brain didn’t kick in and trust this older guy, I’d probably be successful… Even if I do try to fight it, no one will believe a teenager…
@ Sorry to hear about that Andy.
Hey, let’s make a better site and kick their asses.
?
My biggest problem out of those is “They falsely mistake most people as being more like them than they are”
I was out on the water talking to some people about the tectonic plates, ocean currents and whatnot when one of them screams out “oh! look a shell!”
and they all go running over to it, then spend the next five mins captivated by it.
:/
But I digress. It is nice to know I’m not the only unhappy smart person.
@ Sebastyne – Well, I’m glad you came and talked about. I think there are quite a few people like you, who, take time now and them and put themselves in a position to compare themselves to the people they are around.
And they often make many of the same conclusions.
Stay satisfied with your head
@ IMS – Fair enough. But also look at it this more complex wording of essentially the same thought, and let me know what you think:
“They take for granted the fact that everyone around them would be interested in similar things about the world.”
Said that way, does it resonate with you any differently?
For instance, the shell example (which, by the way, made me snort some coffee). Can we extend that example beyond the beach to the office, to the restaurant?
Do regular folks assume, or take for granted, that the same, base, inane things are worthwhile?
[...] Why smart people fail [...]
One reason intelligent people do not achieve “success” is that they are often uninterested in managing people.
I get a lot of comments at work about how I should apply for a higher position. It just doesn’t interest me.
My father can be quite critical as well. He just doesn’t understand why I’m not “making a lot of money.”
My brother-in-law is a lot like me and we are both pursuing writing.
@ Carolyn – No really, I think you’re completely on to something here. If the route to greater income is only through managing in some fields, then you, and I, and many other people in the world, are just not interested. I added the qualifier of “some” to fields because there are probably lots of fields that smart people would love to manage in. Most are probably not like that however.
IMS- Oh look, a shell? It sounds like you were being technical and science-oriented, while your audience was more interested in connecting through a shared sense of wonder and rediscovery.
I feel like I have to present my credentials as a Smart Person, so let it be known that I am very intelligent indeed. On the other hand, I have managed to learn that I am responsible for my own happiness.
I’ve read a few of the “Smart People” posts, and I think the problem is that many of the posters are not smart enough.
You’re not smart enough to surround yourself with interesting, stimulating people of varied backgrounds, socially if not at work. You’re not smart enough to learn negotiating skills in order to find a more challenging job. You’re not smart enough to develop your spirituality (not necessarily in a religious sense) in order to find meaning in your life. You’re not smart enough to listen with love and compassion to the stories and wisdom of every human around you, whether they watch American Idol or read Shakespeare.
I have the privilege of being a physician, and I see a huge cross-section of the world. I work with polymaths and adults with learning difficulties and many in between. If you are not awed and fascinated by humanity, you are not fully present.
Good luck to you, Dereck, in achieving your aims. I wish you a good journey.
@ Elizabeth – But really, you’re absolutely right. The lament here, from many of the commenters, and even me, in many of these “smart people” articles is the reluctance, even the inability to embrace what they (and sometimes even me) feel are the imperfections around them.
These articles were aimed to articulate the frustration of people. They likely lack in their ability to offer the best solution as they are, after all, laments, of sorts.
One of the biggest problems is finding the ways to be “smart enough” to do the things that can allow you to surround yourself in another world. Sometimes being smart has nothing to do with that. Sometimes it’s patience. Sometimes it’s many other skills. In the meantime, plenty of people are probably at least a little justified in feeling out of sorts.
@Dereck and Elizabeth
For me, being creative and living thinking in the abstract too much, never accomplishes a lot. Its like sitting on at a bus stop, and arguing with yourself about mode of transportation, social changes caused by mass transit, etc., and never getting on “the bus”. I am born a very curious, inquisitive type, and ask too many whys at times, then fortunately, a the pragmatic side kicks in and I want to get things done that brings value, talk with people, experience sights, sounds, colors and flavors. If you can choose, experience life. Part of the fun is getting out of your head, and just do things.
One of my biggest pleasures is interacting with those, who seem “shut-down”. Talking and laughing with those among us who need a lift at that moment. For my journey is a mixture of many other journey’s that surround me everyday.
I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments too. Interesting we can share these thoughts in a place and time, where only our words convey meaning. Look forward to more of them.
I am smart. Sadly this is the first time I can say it without feeling like a jerk. Many times I acted like the “cool dude” in front of my friends, parties, getting drunk. At some level I enjoyed the social interaction, but never really connected to them at the same level. My only real problem… laziness. It would be nice if some of you would stop and take a look at my blog, I just started it.
U´s last blog post..design.
If you deny that your brain has, at one point or another, the exact same potential to be “smart” as any other brain in this world, then you don’t deserve it.
Seems like a common theme here, among many is that not connecting with friends or family at the same level means you are smart. So, consequently anyone that has friendly chitchat with another and talks about nothing of meaning etc., is dumb? For, no real smart person will even stoop to the level of having insignificant chatter, with someone else for the sake of being social.
Interesting………..
I’ve met some extremely brilliant people, who have advance careers in some very intellectual fields that just don’t fit that mold. On the other hand, I do acknowledge that many if not most people that never really pushed themselves into any challenging tend to opt for conversations that seem meaningless.
I would like to discuss if emotional discontent, and/or laziness actually affects ones ability to be “smart”. For all intents and purposes, nothing they’ve done is really that smart.
Also, I’d like anyone to comment if anyone is interested in joining our collective into some sort of social project that will have an positive impact on those less “smart” than we are. Not sure exactly what that will be yet, but am willing to begin the process.
@ Sherman – Quite astute. I think you’re right about enjoying, or at a minimum, finding things to enjoy about anyone you find yourself in the presence of.
As to your collective: I’m on board.
@ U – I empathize tremendously. Checking out your blog now.
@ Sally – Then, it would seem, by your dictum, I do not deserve it. What we all want in the world is not what we necessarily get in the world. I could never make it pro in basketball. So do pro basketball players not deserve their skills?
Let’s try this instead (because your method relies on false assumptions about reality and focuses on negativity): how about we all celebrate the skills we do have?
@ all-not sure if this is definitive or not, but I asked someone who I know that has tested very high on an IQ exam; “what affects IQ?” His response was, “well one thing I know, is that the emotional state does”. Then I asked his opinion, “can long-term emotional duress like depression or a pre-occupation with low self-esteem be contributors”? [see where I'm going with this?] He said, “certainly”!
If this is true, then perhaps one key to use our “smarts” more effectively is to realize that not only can our “state of mind in turmoil” prevent us from using our brains it actually in effect makes us dumb. There’s a bomb shell in there somewhere.
what say you?
@Dereck, I’m glad you’ve shown an interest to take these collective ramblings and go to another level of engagement. There’s so much wrong in the our country and around the world…never ends, yeah I know. It would be grand if we could start something that could impact others for the good. If we could come together on an achievable goal within a short time-frame it could give us fuel for greater things, what do you think? We need to be able to put together a portal of sorts, where like minded members could discuss freely the issues, etc. Not to say that this portal could be that place. My vision right now, is to encourage smart people from as many walks of life to join the collective intelligence into solving social/political/environmental issues that face us here in America or globally. It sounds kinda funny as I’m writing this. But I really think you started something here very unique here.
[...] October 10, 2008 at 4:19 am (Uncategorized) http://www.iwillnotdie.com/why-smart-people-fail/ [...]
I disagree. I don’t think this is an accurate reflection of what actually going on…
THE SMARTER THESIS:
What you have said is completely general. Yes smart people fail (using your definition of the word failure), but stupid people, and people of medium intelligence also fail.
You are right, smart people enjoy thinking. So do you not think, therefore, they are more likely as a social group more likely to write an epic self-interested piece like the above? More likely to read it, and more likely to create their own posts in response?
The fact that lots of people see themselves in it, is not a relfection that your generalisation is correct and that you have unravelled some secret of the Universe. It just describes how most people feel; like they could do more, or that the people around them could do more with their intellect and ability.
I would like to ask:
Why do smart people deserve to achieve the things you call success MORE than others?
And if you deny that the was inplied in your article and that the piece is simply to lend a hand to other smart people; surely your piece is a complete contradiction: if you are creating this thesis on smart people’s failures after several years consideration, why the hell didn’t you think of it earlier? And why the hell are you trying to reach the audience who can (according to you) already figure it for themselves!?
Do you not think you are simply appealing to those with a lack of confidence. – In which case, I hope it helps, however – In my experience, the best way to feel more confident is to do exactly what you criticise in this article: you must become aware of what matters and what doesn’t. To many, having money to support yourself and others around you matters, happiness matters, and being there for others matters; and you will need a reasonable standard of career and income to fascilitate emotional and physical health etc…
SMART PEOPLE KNOW THIS
They make the changes they need to make, and they get on with life.
Smart people can be lazy, dumb people can be full of energy and determination, there are no generalisations. And your article reads to me more like one hell of an excuse to feel good besides not achieving what you wanted. May I ask of writing your article constitutes ’stopping thinking and actually doing something’?
It’s not because people are smart that they don’t ’succeed’, it’s completely unconnected: people get knocked down, and people don’t always achieve their goals. People loose sight of them, or life gets in the way. That happens mostly at random, and the thing about randomness is, STUFF IS OUT OF YOUR CONTROLL a damn sight more than most people like to admit.
Thanks, btw for sparking the interesting debate. Who thinks I’m smart?
I’m not bothered either way tho – because I know what I think!
See what I mean about confidence?
Just my $.02, but in my own developed definition of “smart” vs. “normal,” smart is the moniker for an intellectual. An intellectual is potentially no “smarter” at many things than an average Joe, but intellectuals think through everyday processes of life in a characteristic manner, where the normal person tends to let the subconscious drive and not stress too much about the finer points of our interesting world.
This process of (over)evaluation can lead the smart person to overstimulate and thus get bogged down in the wonderment of life, science, art, nature, etc. whereas the normal person is processing more of the basics: food, shelter, sex, entertainment, etc.
I suffer this, and while I have a good job, I feel my potential may never be reached due to sheer volume of thought which I am under load everyday, that would only be exacerbated by moving in any direction closer to a truly satisfying career.
How does one downshift a gear to stop thinking so much and, as Nike puts it, “Just do it!”?
I read the reasons and I have only one substantive suggestion to add to this discussion: Get outta my head, man.
Seriously. I don’t want to be like, like…them. But I suppose you’re right. I, we, are obligated to out-monkey the monkeys at the parts of the monkey game. One of these days I’ll learn.
I think you’re close on some things, not so close on others.
It’s not about being “smart”, as I know folks who are ungodly smart. Some are very, very successful, and some are not.
I like to think of myself as a smart person, and no doubt I’m excessively creative and do not fit in at the workplace… although I keep a circle of like-minded friends.
When it comes to “failure” it’s sometimes not so much that smart folk fail due to the system. I think (and in my own case), it’s often that too much time is spent dreaming up the goals, and not so much effort is put into the action plan.
Hell, my goal is to shake up the art world and blow away everyone. Imagine Andy Warhol, but you know, with talent. I have great ideas!
But how the hell do I do it?
Still figuring out that one. I’ll get into that art scene eventually. I just need to make an action plan for once in my life.
@ 0vert0ne
I think you have hit the nail on the head there. What separates the “smart” people described in this post from the rest is no measurable form of intelligence but general intellectualism.
I would not consider myself to be particularly “smart”, I was never great academically for example, but the ability to objectively ponder and the love of doing it has created some fairly tough social barriers throughout my life.
Reading through the comments it seems many of us are facing the same challenges day to day and it is actually quite nice to know I’m not alone
Thanks for an interesting and thought provoking post Dereck
I believe the English say, Spot On.
I’ve worked shitty dead end jobs forever waiting for the world to realize that taking care of itself would mean the end of crime/suffering people could literally do nothing all day but be entertained with their needs met and no one would have to work much.
But people are largely dirty, stupid, egocentric morons (aka animals), and it didn’t take long for me to find out I was in the minority.
As I only read about 20 of the first comments to this article, I might be regurgitating (and comitting the occasional spelling mistake or grammatical blunder) what has already been mentioned. Its a risk I’m willing to take.
As a selfperceived smart person, I noticed that my lack of inspiration usually lead my peers and teachers/parents to label me “lazy.” I cruised through highschool and University with exactly the grade I needed for the next step, never exceeding or overperforming. “Laid back” is what they call me now that I reached 30, but it still means the same thing.
I often wondered if I had some sort of chemical imbalance that stole all my energy and forced me to fall asleep in physics class, or if I was indeed just flat out lazy. I seem to master most of the things I try to accomplish, and lose interest as soon as I am “good enough.” Its like I try to convince myself that I can hang with the best of them, and as soon as I think I can, I change the subject and try to find something else to chase. Whether its drawing, singing, playing the guitar, swimming, biking, cooking or anything else for that matter, I have never cashed in on any of my “talents.” Why not? Cause cashing in is fcking boring.
If I aint learning something new, I’m bored. So how do oI find the one thing that I cant get enough of, that one skill that would drive me to push harder everyday? Is it a skill that is written in my DNA and left for me to discover one day, or is it a self-discipline issue?
Anyway, its 4 o’clock and I’ve handed in my daily 8 hours for cash. Good luck to you all, keep the fire burning.
I’m smart too and, so far, a hideous failure in many ways.
(not that I’m a completely lost cause)
I really liked this post. Totally agreed. And like a few people here, I wish I’d put it into words first
Sometimes I just can’t understand how people can be interested in shallow things, rather than just not caring in the least.
But like you said, you just have to accept that many mainstreamers think in a certain way, fundamentally different to your own, and simply do what the romans do.
@ sherman – I think that one’s emotional state does impact one’s ability to think, say, rationally. Things like anxiety or worry are heavily distracting.
So I think you’re right: One way anyone can use his or her mind most effectively would be to find the mentality that is conducive to good thinking, useful thinking.
As to your thoughts on organizing people to achieve an aim, a specific aim: But of course.
@ Rosie Posie – Relax. It wasn’t really a thesis, just an Internet article laying out some of my thoughts about the perspectives that self-identified smart people might have about the world.
Also, I dount this was epic. If you’d like to see some “epic” I’ll e-mail you some of my more academic essays. Also, I never said anything about “deserve.” As to the lack of confidence issue, sure.
@ OverOne – That’s my moniker too, just so you know. You’re really right on here, “intellectuals think through everyday processes of life in a characteristic manner.” That lends a specific clarity to the kind of person I’m referring to.
As to your Nike question, my life ambition is to elaborate on that.
@ Jack – Ah, so we’re participating in many of the same modes of thinking, eh? That’s why I’m here, on the Internet. Nice to meet you, by the way.
@ Thorax – Awesome comment. Your saying spending too much time dreaming up the ideas can help cause the failures, or that through inaction, and not the system, smart people can fail, resonated with me.
I think you’re definitely right.
@ Martin – I especially like your phrase “objectively ponder.” To me, that’s a gem. It encapsulates thinking of the highest order; which I’d prefer to say makes you smarter than your academic performance might have indicated to you. I’d also say that that’s good proof that academic performance by itself only indicates something about test grades and muddling through sometimes lousy homework assignments, neither of which mean too terribly much.
@ waspleg – I empathize, but also cherish being a dirty litle animal
@ Dudster – Reading your comment felt like reading a journal. And mine at that.
@ Trav – I think generally speaking, I accept why most people enjoy what they enjoy, but the acceptance stops at a distance from me. I encounter difficulty when I face the fact that I feel like I need different things, and all I sometimes see around me are more endless rows of sports bars and movie theaters.
You’re not smart enough to surround yourself with interesting, stimulating people of varied backgrounds, socially if not at work.
I’m wondering, Elizabeth, if you perhaps speak from a position of slightly unrecognized privilege in having been encouraged to follow your dreams and use your talents to the fullest? I don’t know about others here, but I certainly felt ground down under the bootheel(s) of folks who resented and/or were angry about what they saw as *my* unfair advantage. Or something. Honestly, I’ve never really understood it.
In my family I was pretty much stomped for being smarter than my father, was taught that smart=snob, and there was no way, shape or form that he was going to support my growth or development along that path. It was like my dad took my intelligence personally and went out of his way to try to squelch it and make sure that I had no support or encouragement.
To this day I struggle with hubris because it feels like I never got the recognition I should have when it was due, and many people along the way tried to tear me down and stifle or thwart me rather than letting me follow my own path. So I resent the reverse-snobbery and don’t have a heckuva lot of sympathy for people who revel in their idiocy. In fact, my greatest prejudice is against slow-of-thinking and stupid people (ignorance I don’t mind so much).
Anyway, a little rant. I have smart friends, but most of them are like me – we all got stomped a bit in childhood and as a result have no self esteem or faith in ourselves. It’s not something one can turn on or off like a light switch – I believe that the ability to love oneself comes primarily from being loved, and likewise self esteem comes from having being treated with respect. If others don’t value or appreciate you, it’s hard to appreciate yourself. Or at least that’s my experience. (Sorry for the long post.)
Apologies for the double-post, but wanted to try to clarify a bit-
What I’m trying to say is that one’s ability to surround oneself with interesting folks is partly a matter of circumstance and partly a matter of training.
Many people develop their closest friendships in high school and college, at least initially. A number of the really smart folks I know met their spouses at university, for example. And that’s the time we learn to socialize.
I was taught that my intelligence didn’t matter, and nobody seemed to care that being surrounded by idiots was likely not only to damp my ability to succeed in ‘real’ terms as this original post discusses, but also my exposure to any actual peers with whom to make friends.
As a result I became an asocial bookworm – not because I was a snob, but because I simply couldn’t relate to the people around me. My father worried that sending me to a private school would cause me to be a snob and make me socially awkward, but in fact the opposite was true: Because I grew up surrounded by people I couldn’t relate to, I had few friends and felt always isolated and freakish.
I think it’s much harder to make those connections as an adult if the friendship networks were never developed in childhood or young adulthood. For example, I’ve found groups of really smart folks that I initially enjoyed hanging out with, but found that because I’d followed a non-academic path, I couldn’t really relate to them either. I felt (and still feel) caught in the middle, belonging fully to neither world.
Not sure if any of that’s making any sense.
@ grasshopper – Ultimately, that was the question I had to ask too. Had I come from an environment where I was encouraged, things would have been different. I too, know the feeling of the boot.
As to your father, I think I can relate in a very special way.
As to this:
Had you found me just a few years ago, this could have been a passage from a journal of my own. Of course, my attention to philosophy has changed that since.
As to this:
This is a gem. It is a two-way street. I’m not convinced either one can be fully intrinsic, at least not initially. A seed must be planted in each. In my own experience, for the longest time, I had to fight too damned hard for these.
To your second comment:
No worries on the double post. I like reading.
To this:
Another gem. I can definitely see circumstances being a major impact, and in the times where those circumstances are absent, training and effort must take their place.
This was the conversation I needed to have when I was about 20. Outstanding.
And this is the decisive part. If those networks were not there to begin with, for many people, they would need to start from scratch, but actually worse than just scratch, because everyone else’s social networks are largely already formed. Others simply may not be looking.
Dereck – Thanks for the detailed and thoughtful response, I appreciate it! And also thank you for the kind words and supportive comments. I’m caught between being embarrassed at drawing attention to self and proud to be acknowledged. Guess that early childhood training in self-abasement never fully wears off…
Don’t know how to do the quote thingy, so hope the html italics work:
Had you found me just a few years ago, this could have been a passage from a journal of my own. Of course, my attention to philosophy has changed that since.
My main solution to this problem is to learn to recognize destructive people (which ain’t as easy as one might think if one didn’t grow up being ‘cut down to size’) and to only allow supportive people in my life. The change has been slow, but is gradually making a difference.
Is there a particular philosophical notion that’s been helpful to you in overcoming the hubris/self esteem problem?
It is a two-way street. I’m not convinced either one can be fully intrinsic, at least not initially. A seed must be planted in each.
It took me a long, long time to get to where I could make a statement like that unapologetically, because it so goes against the grain of what our culture teaches us about self-reliance, bootstrapping, self-made-man, all that BS. For a while I tried a little experiment on Google: I’d type in “people need people” just to see what would come up. The first time I did it, maybe 5 years ago or so, I got not a single hit other than references to an old pop song and business/commerce listings. Not a single one that acknowledged that we humans depend on other humans for our mental, physical, social health. I was astonished, flummoxed, boggled, and most of all, deeply frustrated by how deep the denial is in our culture that we are social animals. Anyway, I’d better get off that particular soapbox before this turns into a 10-page rant…
It’s helpful to know I’m not the only one who’s experienced some of this stuff, makes it all a little less crazy-making!
Wow, this site brings a lot of pent up stuff out. Its refreshing that this alcove affords such an opportunity. It seems that this has been a primary goal of Dereck all along. Hands off to you, Dereck for sparking such revelations! Its truly an amazing thing that so many postings seem like self-appointed confessions full of apologies.
I’m from mid-Iowa, a place where most people earned a living by fighting the soil to make enough to earn a meager living. My grandfather, brought his farm from a foreclosure proceedings against his father back in the 1920s. Lived in a house with no water, no electricity or plumbing for several years. Back then, getting up at 5 am below zero, to herd cows into a freezing barn, and Grandpa along with my father had to hand milk 20 cows til breakfast. Made over a wood stove, of corn meal mush and fresh milk & eggs. Farmers all over were losing their farms. It would have easier to give up the farm, move to town, like hundreds of farmers did. Staying was the hard life, staying beat its lessons of survival into those that had to become “hard” to succeed.
I’m telling some of you this, as its no shame in not having large social networks, dozens of friends. There’s no shame in not having a big house, a sailboat tied to some wharf, or the latest designer wardrobe. Its not to terribly important if you find it awkward in making friends.
What is vital though is how you think about yourself. As long as you got your own self-respect. If you don’t feel like you got any, than begin right now. Put out your own goals that you know will be hard to overcome, yet you know you can do with your own abilities, what ever they may be. Overcome the obstacles to get there, and even if you are the only one that applauds when you won, its more than ok. For, you know in your heart that you accomplished something truly amazing. Its gotta be enough, for you are. Then your head will rise higher, and confidence in yourself will be more gratifying than all the other stuff put together.
staying beat its lessons of survival into those that had to become “hard” to succeed
Fortunately we no longer live in the times of our grandmothers (though with the way the economy’s going, who knows – we may end up there again).
I too grew up with the stories of, “walking to school barefoot 20 miles in snow three feet deep – and it was uphill both ways.”
Our grandparents struggled just to put food on the table.
Our parents struggled to put us through school to educate us for ‘higher purposes’.
Those of us who were fortunate enough to get that education now have even a further opportunity: To grow emotionally. To go beyond ‘tough love’ to compassion and genuine awareness of self and others.
What is vital though is how you think about yourself. As long as you got your own self-respect.
Agreed.
However, one’s view of oneself does not occur in a vacuum. Our self images are composites based on how other people see us and reflect us back to ourselves.
Self image and self esteem are not just volume knobs that we can adjust up and down at will. They come from real experiences in life that affect us positively and negatively.
‘Positive thinking’ often fails because it doesn’t address the deeper layer of psychic rot that comes from growing up feeling unwanted, unloved and unappreciated. This can happen even in the most materially wealthy of homes, which is why conversations like this one are important.
Healing comes from exposing the ugly, crawly, nasty unpleasant stuff that makes other people uncomfortable. This includes feelings of repression, guilt, anger, frustration, resentment and the like.
We each have to find our own path.
Another thought – it occurs to me that maybe I, and possibly others who still need this ‘mirroring’ (the official shrink term for that process of forming the self by being reflected by others) as adults need it because we didn’t get it as children. According to popular shrink-think, mirroring is one of the primary functions performed by emotionally healthy parents/families. Those of us who don’t get that remain, to some degree, unshaped, unformed.
Thinking out loud – so to some degree we perhaps lack a sense of self from which to do the things adults do – take charge, feel responsible, make changes. Not feeling terribly coherent here, this is a new and still-coalescing thought . . . but maybe until such time as we *get* the adequate mirroring that we never previously had, we wander around as these sort of vague, amoeba-like, formless shapes seeking meaning and purpose. Maybe the directionlessness and fear come partly from never feeling anchored to the reality of knowing exactly who you are. Which knowing, if this theory holds, comes, at base, from how others see us and how we’re treated.
@grasshopper
this is where it begins……my suggestion is a mirror so to speak
in life’s darkest moments one has to reason with themselves, what holds a value, what will gives a meaning and what is a purpose
just as the past of physical hardships drilling its lessons into those that would hear, so is the future ain’t what it used to be
all I’m saying is that each one of us can choose to have the lessons that achievement will deliver, and it just seems kinda easy to blame others including our parents…….that we never was taught how, so we’re doomed. It seems like you are saying that having external support from emotionally heathy parents, friends etc is the only means to gain self-respect just seems like you’re saying we are vacuum without them.
Why is that? Are you saying that nothing an “unshaped” one can do, will ever amount to anything that they see as an accomplishment worthy of them? I’d like to hear why? Perhaps, the accomplishments that “unshaped” do, isn’t getting the right audience, and gaining a sense of worth never happens, because the “unshaped” are always seeking for an approval from someone else.
This is a great discussion, even though we might at this moment, not see these things the same way, but lets keep going, as it does seem like we are hitting on something here.
I don’t really know you, and these are all assumptions. But I have a feeling you are running away from certain things, and living inside a comfortable little bubble where you can get acceptance (everyone does it). I don’t feel like feeding you with answers, but I can recommend that you try something you never thought you’d like, just to broaden your horizons.
Why not read a bit about emotional intelligence, human psychology or spirituality? Personally, when I understood more about human behavior I realized that being ‘rational’ is most times not truly rational (because it left out some very important factors, the most important factors).
The emotional aspect of our life is at least as important as our intellectual, that’s just how we’ve been evolutionarily programmed. Just ask yourself why ‘dumb people’ are often happier? If you’re really as smart as you claim, you would realize that happiness is important, and that you should lay out your life so that you experience a lot of it, no matter what you do.
@surething
Who are you addressing? There are several conversations going, let me know who. Emotional intelligence vs logical. Great debate, as it happens everyday in many businesses. I’m reading a great book, ” Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott. The premise, [our lives succeed or fail gradually, then suddenly, one conversation at a time] basically builds on how conversation is the relationship. So, please address whom you are talking directly to, and if its me, or grasshopper or whomever.
First of all I all about, coming out from behind myself into a conversation and making it real. For me, I agree with Ms. Scott, ” that our relationships that mean more, are those that are about passion, integrity, authenticity and collaboration. A conversation is the relationship” So, whomever is reading this, you won’t know right now if you can trust me that I’m saying what I truly believe. There is so much BS going on in the media right now as we are witnessing the final chapter our Presidential run right now. Hey, it is what it is. But let me explain further what I mean by how obtaining goals can begin building strong self-esteem.
So, once again I’m suggesting that it helps our self-perception is one can measure what they are doing. Not so much, thinking about, but actually doing. If we are still talking about how no actions are being done, because there are those that just cannot get past what is going on in their heads, than disregard my opinions, as I just refuse to believe that we do not have the ability within ourselves to pull out of this mess of stagnate, debilitating self-speak that seems to paralyze some of the most intelligent minds.
Yet without tangible proofs or measurable returns etc., how do we as humans know whether any “progress” is made. In my experience in business be it products, timely accounting, pricing or even measuring customer satisfaction all have results. Good or bad. My point is that totally yes, in order to be more successful in getting results I have to be willing to be more engaging. Its way better on a personal basis that your willingness to engage is based on a personal belief you are doing what is right (ie goal). Accomplishing, what is right then, helps build your self esteem does it not?
Therein seems to be a baseline issue. How we structure our goal of affirmation determines (to some extent as least) the effects on our self-esteem.
damn. after reading all three of the articles on smart people, i feel like stubleupon will fail to provide me with anymore entertainment today. now i’m bored. thanks a lot dereck.
@ grasshopper – To do the quote thingy, you can use the html tag blockquote. Surround that word with angled brackets <>, copy & paste the part you want quoted, then put the same tag at the end, except the first angled bracket should have a slash after it.
Now as to your own comment: finding supportive people is sometimes a great challenge. In fact, I’ve found it to be so difficult in my life that I nearly gave up at the local level and hell, I started a blog where I can find the people I’m looking for more easily. As to the philosophical notion that has helped me, personally, the most, it goes something like this: there is a natural rank and order among men. As to that continuum, I know approximately where I am at, and I’m proud of my standing. I also know that I now need to act according to that rank and participate in trying to accomplish something for the world.
@ sherman – You should see the hate e-mails
. Ok, they aren’t that bad.
As to your comment, it’s the historical perspective that I travel to regularly. Strip away the chinsy corporate world of a corporate America or other industrial state and you’ve got an old man in his underwear. We have the remarkable habit of sometimes forgetting that at bottom, we’re all just plain people. Just human beings. Imagining our lives as ones without luxury and leisure is a good way to remind us about both our frailty, and our strength.
Funny thing is that sometimes I fantasize about going on the fringe and starting a farm.
@ grasshopper – Positive thinking isn’t always a knob, for sure. If it is a knob, mine was rusted tight. When I grew up, I met some talented people who I respected, who took me aside and said, “Dereck, you’ve got some talent.” Instant WD-40. Now it turns just fine. That said grasshopper, I think you rock
As to needing to expose the ugly, crawly things: you’re absolutely right. I dragged mine from the depths and splashed gasoline all over ‘em. Then scratched a match. A grand bonfire indeed.
As to the need for mirroring: again, I think you’re right. I grew up pretty convinced that my parents (especially my dad) didn’t really like me. I say that lightly. I doubt I could have recovered adequately without other people.
Do we lack a sense of self (at birth)? Absolutely. Human beings develop most of our social traits through what we find around us.
To this:
Damn, you’re on it here. Formless shapes whose directionlessness comes from not knowing who we are. I’d say that’s pretty solid.
@ surething – Seconding sherman, I’m timid to respond directly because I’m not sure who you are speaking to. For now, I’ll hold off.
@ sherman – you’ve got some great stuff here. I especially like what you’ve essentially called an objective measurement of our subjective lives. Without the tangible proofs or measurable returns, we can struggle to know whether what we’ve done or what we’re doing is on par with something good; and we may never get that objective assessment, so, just as you, do we have an internal substitute? Can we still run and succeed? I agree with you: I bet we can
@ not ryan – What’s funny is that you’re not the first person to have told me that
Dereck
The problem I have with this article is that the sentiments expressed in your article are also shared by many that are not considered “smart”.
I’d do no better than average on any intelligence test but I share your views. Being smarter than average isn’t what bonds those with similar ideas.
Dave
If I may ask, do you have a deep seated feeling, that overwhelms you at times, that life isn’t giving back what you expect? On the other hand, have you accomplished many difficult tasks as compared to those people you know?
Maybe “smart” is not an exact definition, but what seems to be common here, in my opinion is the level of frustration expressed over “smart vs success”.
What say you?
Sherman
I don’t know what you consider a difficult task. I’ve achieved more professional success than a lot of the people I know, but I did this without really trying. I simply go to work and try to do the best that I can everyday.
I never think about getting promoted and rarely think about getting pay increases. But both come regularly and I’m always surprised by them.
I wouldn’t say that I feel overwhelmed by life’s disappointments, but I am disappointed with what life offers. Our culture places value on making money so you can buy bigger homes, fancier cars, and designer clothes. I don’t see the allure of these things. On the other hand relatively little effort is put forth to relieve the atrocities and suffering in the world.
Smart vs successful? I guess, at the end of the day, each of us has to define success for ourselves. Those who are able to figure out how to achieve their vision of success without harming others or the environment are the smart ones.
I realize that this is a bit of a rant, but I hope I answered your question.
For me, life is a game of exploitation. To suceed, we must play by the rules of the society, and without they know it, we have to try to suceed with our rules. When I mean rules, I mean the stuff that each person like to do it (write books, play music, think in math, etc…).
If we have an ambition, we need some friends and the friends that we will get it must have the same vision as we. With this gesture, each person is sharing his world, who is similar to many people. With an arranged group, is more easy to build something with great value, that in the end can conquer the world.
For me, there isn’t smart or dumb people. It exists interesting person and boring person. That depends on the likes and dislikes of each one.
We must find our soul mates.
It should exists a site, where people with the same likes and dislikes can talk to each other. It would be wonderful. I don’t know if already exists one.
[...] smart people fail are unhappy and why people dont like smart people. Three great articles that say exactly how I feel [...]
This is so true. We are really distracted by things that dont amount to much such as partying. But you know what? Failing my societies standards is ok as long as you succeed by your standards. What do you think?
Cheers,
Jeremy
Jeremy Day´s last blog post..Your Capacity is Low Because Your Devotion is Thin
Anyone
Ready to reveal a bit more about themselves?
@ Dave – You’re part of the smallest subset, I’d say. Of the people for whom this article resonates with, most would consider themselves smart, some might consider themselves average. In other words, of all the people who “fail” or feel like they fail, many of them might fail for the reasons I wrote about, and most of them would identify themselves as smart.
You might be the conundrum. In the unhappy article I labeled average people as Romans, and quite clearly, you are no Roman.
So what am I saying? I’m saying the problem you have with the article is justified.
@ PSC – Life is a game of exploitation. It’s a bitch, no?
As to there not being smart versus dumb people, instead, interesting versus boring, both sets of terms are subjective. Highly. In fact, the most interesting people to me are smart.
This is quite true. Remarkably, for me, finding people who share my tastes is just as difficult these days, even with all the mass communication available, as it ever has been.
@ Jeremy – This is ultimately, one of the greatest goods: to need never to rely so much on others for how you define your personal success so that it won’t come easy to you once you decide, intrinsicly, that you made it.
this is very good write up, instead of doing what most average or dumb people do by being bitter and negative , hating gifted people, you have actually aknowledge alot of truth.. and yes a average are better off in the world because the average are the mainstream masses… so even if the genuis is right in a social gathering, he will be wrong, most people will think like the dumb person…
it really is unfair on smart people, but thats why they always do big things and make a difference, because God give them that gift…. and God will also set their path for them to walk…
you ask many many true genius’s that arent currupted,, they all belive in God, and all choose to believe in GOD by their own will, because like many of things, they or we can work out things negative or positive, and also posibilties calculator like speeds. and by doing this we see there is a GOD and most gifted people if not all believe GOD gave them that gift…
gifted people often do not think to much about money and whats happening on the weekend, you are completely spot on, and thats where they fail at socializing, and the most gifted people in the world only have few friends that are TRUE friends, also given by god, where as the average will have many friends but are only good for fun and never there when you need them..
and i totally agree i use to think everyone thought like me,, and i often got mad when someone didnt understand something, i use to think how can they possibly not see that or understand what i mean… but i never ever thought liek a average person and label that person dumb,,, i just couldnt understadn why they couldnt see it… and yes gifted people often dont like praise and are often unaware of how good they really are…. its kinda naive, but most gifted people are good hearted too….
i find it so hard sometimes, gifted people hardly lie,, where as the average person lies and amke themself sound better than they really are,,, gifted people just say exactly what they are… and me growing up, i was often accused of lying… so as i grew up i learnt to adapt and lie alot and make myself sound not as good as i really was.. (i mean common how unfair is that, people lying makiing themselfs sound better, i had to lie to make myself sound worse) so from even little things like i taught myself how to ride a bike, and i taught myself how to swim literally in 5 minutes,,, my parents and family and friends still think someone taught me cause thats what i told them.. had i said i learnt myself they would ahve accused me of lying… so i carried this all through my early life and school years, i never lied but if i did, it was too make myself look worse…. im good at anything i do but i also have to pretend to not be as good, and often make myself look foolish… how strange is that… thank God for my gifts but why is it sooo hard for me!! completely unfair but i know ill be where im suppose to be one day
however ive since i realized now ive grown up, when i use to pretend to be average and do dumb things like my friends, i was sooooooo friggin popular everyone loved me, i was sooo popular that the people that secretly hated me was scared to hate me…. but as i grew up and become a adult where we wonder about life, and future like jobs and profession, ive started to just be myself and be who i really am, ive noticed a huge change people now hate me alot of my so called friends,, what all you average people surround yourselves with on a daily basis, all changed and became jealous and bitter… im sick of having to pretend im dumb when im not… even though i lied as a kid and through high school to make myself look bad i never knew i was more intelligent and creative.. i just lied so i wouldnt get accused cause it upset me.
so now i am who i am, i never say things i cant do, but what i can i do… and guess what people friggin hate me… do you think that is fair!!!!
really people like us we could encounter are 2% of the world the other 98% give us a hard time…
BTW for people that think being gifted is people who have been university and got a job working as accountant your wrong!! these are people that simply studied hard and are smart but not gifted… the gifted might not of ever went school his whole life,,,, but learn and become incredibally smart in a very very short period of time… and creative people they are also the gifted…..
i find alot of average people also deluded they lie so much to other people that they are smarter than they really are,,, they become a lie and believe that themselves,,, they are the worst people for me to come across… someone that blantantly to me is dumb, thinking he is more intelligent than me,,, because simply he is smart enough to understand em its like arguing with a brick wall. you will lose no matter what, cause i understand them but they dont understand me…
im so mad at times, i wish i could be a simple minded fool, thinking about drinking and telling rumours about people all day long…
[...] Why smart people fail [...]
I will not fail because I am indeed invinceable.
This is by far the most entertaining, honest and utterly brilliant thing I have read on the Internet in years. So true. I especially agree with poster #1 – ernie’s comments. Completely explains everything.
So all, does reading these comments better prepare all of us to face 2009? I hope so. Thanks for everyone’s insights, replies, and rebuttals.
One of the ideas here that I learned is, within even the most despondent among us, lies the desire to find a meaning in ones life.
Thanks to all and Happy New Year
I have always thought I had a depression of some sort, and I figured it was because I felt I had no real purpose in life. These posts just resonate with what I’ve felt all these years.
I’ve always been hesistant to say that I’m smart, because I never knew if I was and still don’t, so it feels a bit arrogant to say I’m smart. I definitely identify with not being able to connect with other people in conversations about some of the more superficial subjects and always feeling out of place amongst my teenage friends even if I was the younger one by years. But in contrast to some of the posters above, I feel equally frustrated amongst my uni peers (potential einsteins and really smart people) whose only pick-up line in the future may well be “Would you like a tour of my optical lasers lab?”. Each person I meet is a disappointment. I have only ever “clicked” with one ex-friend. That’s why I’ve never had the incentive to meet people. Academically, I knew I could succeed if I tried, but why try if not trying yields decent results? I don’t strive to be the top %1 of my class. It feels so very mechanical and being booksmart means nothing to me. Very often, i feel so frustrated that i can’t even get up in the morning. It is just so tiring. I simply could not care about such petty/childish things and have always wondered if maybe I was the one who was boring. Maybe I can even blame it on genetics. I talk a lot with my mom these days since I have no friends due to 1) moving around the world a lot when I was a child 2) my general unpleasantness/incompatible. Many think I’m a snob. I don’t try to be. I’m just disinterested in everything. She says that she completely relates to how I feel and my sister has no friends either. I don’t know, maybe she raised us wrong.
In highschool when I was deciding my major, people would often ask me “why did you pick engineering?”. Growing up, I never had one of those “ta-da!” massive enlightenments about my future job as most kids had, but my answer would always be “because I hate it the least.” And it was true. I hated being a mindless accountant, an artsy who’s not good enough to make it out in the world, a teacher who’s stuck with bratty kids, or a passionless doctor/lawyer. Engineering was simply the least painful for me. I guess for most people circumstances have forced them into doing something else which is more practical for society’s standards, but it is especially hard for smart people. Now I’m stuck in a vicious cycle where I sit in my own room day in day out hoping that time passes faster because I know people and things are both a disappointment to me and the only way i know how to get out of this cycle is to find my non-existent passion. And in the meantime, striving for that “big money” goal to keep me alive to find that passion is growing to be tiring. It sounds like I’m feeling sorry for myself while blaming others for not doing anything myself. And maybe I am, so I guess that makes me stupid? Social responsibility is the only thing holding me back from not living. All these useless thoughts and no action. If I’m not putting my thoughts into action, does this mean I am not smart? Is the smart thing striving for success regardless of how it makes you feel on the inside?
Nevermind looking for a soulmate.
Sorry for being so self-indulgent in this teenage rant.
I can’t even explain these feelings that i have, but you have done such a great job with this post that I don’t think I need to.
@Dave – I could not have said it better when you said that you were disappointed with what life has to offer.
jaded, my life is really similar to yours. I’ve also followed enginnering because it’s more easy to find employment.
I thought that I had my ta-da moment when I was 5 years old. And that will be a classical music pianist. Unfortunately, my talent doesn’t followed my ambition. So, I entered in a strange phase that I’m still on.
Now I’m 30, and I still wondering if somewhere in my life I could just be happy. I think that people that has similar cases like ours, are so close to the truth but they can’t reach it.
I think that we aren’t different from other people that choose to think before act. Everybody has problems. For example, Professor John Nash or Professor Stephen Hawking have really big problems.
We aren’t totally unlucky. We just have to find a way to find ourselves. I’m still striving.
The only advice that I can give is to, not waste your time thinking how unlucky you are. Wasting your time is wasting your life. Try to beat the odds. Spend your time wisely.
The only best friend that we can rely on is ourselves. That best ally that we have is our imagination.
At least we can thank to God that we are alive and will not die soon. God is testing us, is giving to us an opportunity to find ourselves. Isn’t what you looking for?
It’s ok to feel sad sometimes. But it isn’t ok to stop living.
I hope that this will help. I also hope that these words also apply to me.
May the force be with you.
This has been a good read… I found this post looking for a general consensus on the ups and downs of higher intelligence and it’s effects on people…. I’m 31 years old and was invited to join MENSA when I was in the second grade. Unfortunately my mother had no clue what MENA was and declined the invitation. Nevertheless I was enrolled in gifted classes and continued untill I graduated high school. Throughout my life I have been a social outcast: only child, separated from extended family(all other relatives outside of my parents live in another state), religous misfit, ethnic minority, raised in the south(most of my peers had social, family, or racial groups to identify with), and documented IQ over 130… I detail all of this to say that I fully understand the plight of the above average. But, I also agree with the idea that if one is truely “smart” then they should be able to “figure” a way out of their current situation… Hell, if you’re a genious, just invent one!
amen to all of these postings. this stuff is me to a t. who wants to overthrow the system though? “I’m not interested in preserving the status quo, I’m interested in overthrowing it.” Machiavelli. Join me brothers and sisters I have a place for all of you in my angry and bitter heart. This world will be ours again. You just must believe. We have evolved this far for a reason. Or we were put here for a reason. Us in this time, with the internet giving us the ability to reach out to one another, and empathize. The stupid people must pay.
It’s true the biggest danger is smart people assume that others are too like them. They think if they explain things , rationally eventually the others will understand. They won’t because if they were capable of such they already would know. In fact they don’t see what the smart person sees and don’t want to as it’s value escapes them entirely. Try to enlighten them and they will call you strange, naive, or attempt to educate you in the ways of ignorance they call common sense. Ask why and they will say that’s how it is. You may say yes but why is it so and is that how we want it to be ? They will blink and scratch their heads. They are not thinkers they just do as the other sheep do.
Has anyone seen Idiocracy ? It’s like that. If your smart and you try to help they call you a “faggy weird talker”. Better learn to hide your smartness until you can triumph. If your smart , honest and compassionate your in trouble unless you learn to except that they are dumb and will fling poo if agitated. Thinking other wise is not optimistic it’s naive.
To: thought Kung Fu
MENSA is not all it’s cracked up to be so don’t feel bad. I had a co-worker find out my IQ and give me some mensa approved gifts. Anagrams and , boring puzzles based on knowledge of state capitols. Really smart people find MENSA a waste of time , as they are too busy doing cool things with technology , science , computers , the arts and so forth. Who want to sit around doing crossword puzzles that just use bigger words ?
“Mensa encompasses members representing many points of view. Consequently, Mensa as an organization shall not express an opinion as being that of Mensa, take any political action other than the publication of the results of its investigations, or have any ideological, philosophical, political, or religious affiliations. ”
Smart people celebrating their smartness and doing nothing with it.
My had a saying he used to describe someone ‘not so smart’. He would say “that person is bubble-off”. As a kid, that saying confused me – Maybe the person he was referring had something wrong with his blood, his chemistry, his DNA. Eventually I discovered it sprang from the use of a carpenters level. You know, with the “bubble” inside. Smart people fail because they over-analyze the situation.
sam beal´s last blog post..Facebook Press Releases from the not-so-distant Future
[...] Why smart people fail [...]
Materialism has nothing to do with intelligence.
I don’t socialize well with the simpletons of this world. I can’t speak with them. I can’t think like them. My thoughts and beliefs are seemingly decades ahead of theirs.
However, I want nothing more than money and power. I don’t want to be amongst them. I want to be above them; where I belong.
They are like a herd of sheep, and I am considered one of them. This drives me crazy.
It all depends on how you define “smart”.Seems to me you are describing intelligent people who are not “people persons” and have a serious demeannor.There are plenty of intelligent people who are “smart” and successful because of the fact that they are “people persons” and have a good sense of humor which most people find likable.Serious smart people may be more intelligent in some ways but have a harder time “going with the flow”so to speak beacause it is very boring and tedious for them.This usually alienates them to the “average joe’ type of person and makes it harder for them to fit in and be accepted which is what a lot of them really want anyways.So it may not be that you are “smarter”, just more intelligent with a different set of social skills.man of these types of people waste their potential and are easily misunderstood. I understand your plight and am like you in many ways.
I can agree somewhat with what you have said, although you are generalizing alot and you don’t have any sort of quantitative evidence to back it up. Saying that I can relate to some of your stories about “covering up” your true identity. I really try hard at this task .. fitting in with the average joe. Making funny stupid jokes that people will laugh at when in reality it was too easy and pointless from my perpective.
There are many times that I get jealous of average people. They are able to socialize and connect in almost any situation. While I have to work hard at connecting and eventually get “found out” they never have this problem and seem content with flashy things and small talk. As a result I have few friends. Perhaps im too intimidating for potential friends or it could be I become extremely bored after awhile in their preference.
I guess I should stop fooling myself and only make friends with other smart people. I think its silly for others to not make friends with someone they find smarter or more talented then they are. When I run into someone like this I gravitate to them and try to learn as much as possible. Yes they are intimitating but I know that over time I could learn those skills or talents .. its just a matter of time and hard work.
David